Have had all your dislikes on 3 coachs still have one. If you had the coach you would learn what operations would be required first, hook ups done before opening slide for instance and after a while it would be a matter of routine.
The slides work slowly to be sure they will seat correctly when opened or closed. Never had a leak or stuck slide.
As to cabinets they could be the cheaper ones options may have the upgraded version. Same with kitchen table. You have to remember Dealer ordered coach with his options that he thinks he can sell on HIS price.
Most coachs are ordered by you as to the options you would want than built by Newmar for you.
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As to engine noise it is mid coach and not rear, not sure you hear in coach or from outside but maybe some added sound deading material that Newmar could provide.
There are other coach Mfg's that provide setups with bunks maybe these will work for you.
I wish you good luck in your quest its not easy but your doing the right thing before handing over that BIG check.
Brace bar has been around along time, its something that will not brake down thats automatic.
Yes I have hit the drivers chair.
As to storage you do loose alot because of the bedroom set up.