Just a short story to tickle your funnybone. It's true and the ending is a happy one.
So, I'm heading east on highway 90 and then 94. 2 days to get across Montana (I'll never complain about west Texas again). I'm crossing North Dakota, that is, west to east. At the same time, the wind is coming from the south and heading north of course. I do not like this kind of white knuckle driving. After I pass Bismark, I decide not to go all the way to Fargo, to stop in Jamestown. As I move along, I notice the paths of the various birds as they dart across the interstate. It rained very heavy last night (4 hours continuous heavy rain last night at Glendive, MT. There are large puddles in the median. (Hold on, I'm coming to it.)
As I look up ahead, I see two ducks (Mallards) lifting off from the puddle. The first one heads south with the correct amount of FFS (forward, flapping speed) to not be a problem. As I glance back at the 2nd one, to my horror, his FFS is exactly equal to the wind speed from the south. He is basically hovering one or two coach lengths in front of me. I immediately release the throttle and start to duck (in the physical sense). Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that he too is glancing at me and at the same time we both utter those famous Aflac words, AWWWW, SH--!! At which point he downshifts (?) and accelerates up and away.
Now, I don't know what the impact would have looked like but definitely not a pretty sight. I'll leave it to the House Engineer Mike to determine the acatual impact speed. Me at 60 mph and he (it was a male Mallard) - stationery in front of me.
So there, was it worth a chuckle or not? A good ending for me, and for the duck.