The Elderly Parent Dilemma

[ChiefJohn]

I bounced this off Highgturn (Bob) by PM and in retrospect realized it would be of interest to many of our Excel family facing similar dilemmas. How do we deal with aging parents and/or self-centered children and relatives when we opt to pursue the RV lifestyle?

Escapees thread on this subject here.

Life is short, death is long--enjoy life to the fullest while you are physically and mentally capable.

[ChiefJohn]

I bounced this off Highgturn (Bob) by PM and in retrospect realized it would be of interest to many of our Excel family facing similar dilemmas. How do we deal with aging parents and/or self-centered children and relatives when we opt to pursue the RV lifestyle?

Escapees thread on this subject here.

Life is short, death is long--enjoy life to the fullest while you are physically and mentally capable.

[Lindaxtwo]

I know what you mean, John. I am getting ready to give my notice at work (with last day of work being 8/20)and have told some friends and family but the one I'm having the most problem with getting the gumption up to tell is my 81 yr old mom. She is all about "stability" and a sure thing and since I'm only 46, I anticipate getting the most grief from her. Most everyone else we've told is excited for us...one of our kids is like "Where will we go that's home ?" and we say, "Anywhere we are"..We're excited to get on the road...We love living in our 5th wheel now but can't wait till August comes.

[D and J]

I don't know what you are talking about My mother full timed for close to 20 years. She even created her own RV "club" Maybe some here have heard of WIN (Wandering Individuals Network, rvsingles.org) Unfortunatly, she passed away suddenly in January, so we will not be able to caravan together with her. (we were planing to do this next winter to Quartzite) Escapee's members can see her "Final Journey" posted in this month's magazine. She was a little worried about us full timing, just because she thought Me and my wife could not afford health insurance on the road.

My wife's parents, in Germany, however, think we are a little bit crazy for going full time, but they are excited for us.

Thank God for Skype and internet so we will be able to stay in touch with them.

[MakinSmoke]

Don't know the direction of the Escapees thread but my Mom is in a nursing home and I visit her almost once a month. (My brother and I alternate every two weeks so she sees one of us bi-weekly) I do not pretend to know what is right on this issue. Sometimes I think we don't go enough. All I know is that my Mom took care of us when we could not take care of ourselves.
Hard to do sometimes when we really want to be fulltime or long timing somewhere far away but for now, it is what it is. As they say in some rooms I frequent, "First Things First".

[76dc]

You take care of family first, bottom line.

[Highgturn]

Kind of ironic. Chiefjohn posted this and since he did, My Dad (87) and I (62) had to put Mom (86) in a nursing home. She is suffering from depression. I never thought I would see her like she is now. Nothing they have tried seems to have any effect. My wife Sharon (59), has been taking care of her dad (86), has Alzheimer's, 24/7 for the last two years. Sharon is in Brownwood, TX, my folks are in Greenville, TX and I work in Fort Worth, TX. The sad thing is, it will get a lot worse before it gets any better. I hope we get to use our RV before we are too old to enjoy it. There are so many of us "Boomers"� in the same boat.

[Dutch_man39]

We're in about the same situation. My MIL, 87, had a stroke almost 3 years ago. She has limited use of left arm and leg, otherwise she is fine. My FIL is also 87 and still plays tennis twice a week while my wife and I sit with the MIL. They have their own condo on the second floor, no elevator. As long as my FIL is healthy he can help her up and down the stairs so they can go to the store, doc, library, etc.

We would like to go full-time, but feel the need to be here for them. However, I'm now 68 and the DW will be 65 next January so our clock is ticking and we're afraid we'll miss out on our grand dreams of full-timing so we can tour this great country at a slow pace.

Bill