Yes it looks like the one on ebay will work and also the one I posted above in a link to PPL will also work. I would rather work with PPL than ebay if I have a choice.
No your method will not work to test the relay.
The red & the orange wires are just power supply to the panel. They get their power from the left fuse on the relay and the other side of the fuse goes to the POS (+) post of the battery.
The right fuses supply the power to the LED's and have on part in the operation other than to lite the LED to tell you if the relay is made or not. They get their power from the system side of the relay.
The coil in the relay is a push/pull type for the maintain relay. When power is applied to one of its terminals and ground to the other the coil it will move the relay on one direction. If you reverse the power (NEG & POS) to the relay the coil it will pull in the opposite direction.
In other words when you put POS (+) on the S terminal and NEG (-) on the I terminal the relay will open the main battery terminals. If you put NEG (-) on the S terminal and POS (+) on the I terminal the relay will close the main battery terminals of the relay.
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