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Old 01-10-2019, 09:10 PM   #1
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It's not her, it's me, I think?

I have to admit that I am the worst back seat driver, passenger side driver, following you in a different car driver. I have a problem and I need to find a way to solve it.

Here is the deal. I am so thankful that my wife is willing and eager to drive the coach. I've read many threads where the lady is afraid of driving and leaves it to the man. I don't cast judgement. We are able to cover more ground, miles, and it makes it a lot more fun that we share all of the tasks with owning our bus. My wife has no problem with any aspect of full time living in the bus; driving, trip planning, emptying the tanks, anything.

Heres the problem. I'm not sure if this is true with all coaches but when sitting in the co pilot seat I cannot see the side mirror. This is where you need to re-read my first paragraph. When we are going down the highway, 2 or 3 lanes I have no problem. Could one day even take a nap. My problem is when we are on a one lane road. She drives and shows no sign of stress, all I can see, feel, is that she has the coach riding over the white line, and we are close to a bad situation. She constantly tells me alls good but I just can't feel like she is way to close to the side of the road.

Does this make any sense? I wish i could relax more but I just can't. She tells me I should go lay in the bed or keep my head down. I tell her she doesn't have enough fear, or respect, for the length and size of the coach. I told her during one drive is that she figures I can get us out of any bad situation so what the heck. I think I need to buy a bicycle mirror that i can attach to the passenger door so I can see the white line. Kidding kind of.

What say you, does this make sense to any other bad, back seat drivers?
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Old 01-10-2019, 09:23 PM   #2
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I have the opposite issue....she drives too close to center line for ME


I prefer being closer to white line on side of road then yellow/center lines on road.
I can see/avoid obstacles on the side of road but that idiot coming from the other direction is the one I want to stay as far as possible away from.....safely that is.


Wanna swap drivers?


Hey she isn't stressed, is confident and in control so RELAX
(has she been in accidents/tickets?---how about YOU?)
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Old 01-10-2019, 09:25 PM   #3
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You should be able to adjust the seat up or back so you can see the mirror if you want. DH & I trade off & if I leave the passenger seat where he puts it when he sits in it, the center frame of the sliding passenger window goes right down the middle of where I look to see the passenger mirror. I have to adjust the seat so I have a clear view of that mirror.

If it's of any misery-loves-company kind of bonding, when I'm in the passenger seat, I SWEAR DH is too close to the driver's side lane line even though I know he's not. Going through a construction zone I've been known to lean to the right to get away from the concrete barriers on that driver's side....as if doing so will make the coach move over.

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Old 01-10-2019, 09:50 PM   #4
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Yes it's you...stop thinking it may be you

I am one those guys that does all the driving. My wife says and thinks the exact same way you do. "Oh my god we're going to die". We have some good friends that have a 37' MH and his wife is the same way. She always has a blanket in her lap and she just throws it over her head when things get hairy. "I can't look, I can't look, we're going to die". It's quite funny to hear her tell these stories.

A long time ago I placed a—1" circular, black, self adhesive dot—on the left side of the windshield. While I'm driving (usually @ 62mph for those who are wondering) I just visually put that dot just to the left of the white line on the highway. That centers me perfectly in the lane. I know I'm good and I'm also always watching my mirrors for up coming traffic too and adjust my lane position if needed.

My wife sitting over there in the passenger seat thinks otherwise. Again..."Oh my god we're going to die". You should of seen her coming back from Florida, going through LA—in heavy rain—on those tight, narrow LA highways. And in those construction areas...with the concrete barriers, OMG. It's tough enough for me to stay focused. It adds unnecessary stress to say the least. Chill out girl...chill out.

When my wife sees pictures on the web, of people in RV's going thru twisting turns in the mountains or in the high sierras with nothing but cliffs and a 5,000' drop off the side, she says, "no way Jose. We are NOT doing that". I say oh yes we are. Not to worry. She is getting better thank god.

If your wife says "I'm good" go take a nap...you need to trust your wife more.

That's my story and I'm sticking with it.
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Old 01-10-2019, 10:01 PM   #5
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More fun if you can get the passenger to hit the brakes....
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Old 01-10-2019, 10:09 PM   #6
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My wife tended to ride the white line, I told her to glance at the mirrors and adjust the MH's position to be centered between the white and striped center line, and adjust her vision so she's watching the road at least 2 blocks ahead. She said she was too close to the center line, I said look in the mirrors again. She finally got used to the centering thing.
She was hesitant to drive until she took a free driving course at a SMART RVing club national rally.
Regrettably she no longer drives our MH due to lasting effects of a TBI.
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Old 01-10-2019, 10:56 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brandss View Post
I have to admit that I am the worst back seat driver, passenger side driver, following you in a different car driver. I have a problem and I need to find a way to solve it.

Here is the deal. I am so thankful that my wife is willing and eager to drive the coach. I've read many threads where the lady is afraid of driving and leaves it to the man. I don't cast judgement. We are able to cover more ground, miles, and it makes it a lot more fun that we share all of the tasks with owning our bus. My wife has no problem with any aspect of full time living in the bus; driving, trip planning, emptying the tanks, anything.

Heres the problem. I'm not sure if this is true with all coaches but when sitting in the co pilot seat I cannot see the side mirror. This is where you need to re-read my first paragraph. When we are going down the highway, 2 or 3 lanes I have no problem. Could one day even take a nap. My problem is when we are on a one lane road. She drives and shows no sign of stress, all I can see, feel, is that she has the coach riding over the white line, and we are close to a bad situation. She constantly tells me alls good but I just can't feel like she is way to close to the side of the road.

Does this make any sense? I wish i could relax more but I just can't. She tells me I should go lay in the bed or keep my head down. I tell her she doesn't have enough fear, or respect, for the length and size of the coach. I told her during one drive is that she figures I can get us out of any bad situation so what the heck. I think I need to buy a bicycle mirror that i can attach to the passenger door so I can see the white line. Kidding kind of.

What say you, does this make sense to any other bad, back seat drivers?
brandss,
The very, very first thing here is, you already know how lucky you are in the fact that she's willing to take the wheel, if and when needed. I have many, many friends who's wives won't even THINK about taking the wheel, AT ANY TIME. I have asked most of the wives, "What you gonna do if he get's sick or hurt, sit there, in the middle of the road"? Most answer, Yep.

Well, like you, I'm very lucky/fortunate/ happy to have a wife that not only handles driving the big beast but, handles it WELL. And, that's while towing the truck that's carrying the bike or, towing the Jeep. I quite often snooze in the passenger seat while she's at the helm. That to me, is a phenomenal blessing. Just being able to catch a few zzzz's every now and then, really recharged the old battery.

And, as you can tell by my description of our scenario, OBVIOUSLY, I don't worry too much about her driving. I got her and the kids all trained about a couple of decades ago. And it's paid off, way more than I can count. I really feel sorry for those boys that have wives that don't want to help. I guess it's ok with them.
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Old 01-11-2019, 04:54 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brandss View Post
I have to admit that I am the worst back seat driver, passenger side driver, following you in a different car driver. I have a problem and I need to find a way to solve it.

Here is the deal. I am so thankful that my wife is willing and eager to drive the coach. I've read many threads where the lady is afraid of driving and leaves it to the man. I don't cast judgement. We are able to cover more ground, miles, and it makes it a lot more fun that we share all of the tasks with owning our bus. My wife has no problem with any aspect of full time living in the bus; driving, trip planning, emptying the tanks, anything.

Heres the problem. I'm not sure if this is true with all coaches but when sitting in the co pilot seat I cannot see the side mirror. This is where you need to re-read my first paragraph. When we are going down the highway, 2 or 3 lanes I have no problem. Could one day even take a nap. My problem is when we are on a one lane road. She drives and shows no sign of stress, all I can see, feel, is that she has the coach riding over the white line, and we are close to a bad situation. She constantly tells me alls good but I just can't feel like she is way to close to the side of the road.

Does this make any sense? I wish i could relax more but I just can't. She tells me I should go lay in the bed or keep my head down. I tell her she doesn't have enough fear, or respect, for the length and size of the coach. I told her during one drive is that she figures I can get us out of any bad situation so what the heck. I think I need to buy a bicycle mirror that i can attach to the passenger door so I can see the white line. Kidding kind of.

What say you, does this make sense to any other bad, back seat drivers?
It is you. Just stop it. Learn to bite your tongue. Things always look different from the passenger side perspective. Plus you don't like the feeling of having no control. We get that. But we don't want to hear it every 5 minutes.

You sound like my husband.

Concentrate on becoming a good navigator. Know what's up ahead and let your wife know that kind of information.

We all have preferences on which line we guide by and your way is your preference. We have preferences on how close we get to other vehicles, which lane to drive in when. Your preference may not be your wife's preference. That's ok. I've learned through the years to sit there and keep my mouth closed when my husband is driving (although I do squeeze the arm rest occasionally). You need to learn to do the same.

It's my vehicle too. Of course I'm going to drive it also. But if the hubby complains too much, he's welcome to get out and fly back home
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:50 AM   #9
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Go sit on the couch and read something. It's you.

But don't feel all alone, watching anyone else drive makes me second guess them. And I don't mean just the coach.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:11 AM   #10
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I got a kick out of these post, my wife has a CDL and when I complain about her driving she reminds me who in the family has the CDL I am glad that she rather look around at the area we are passing through and navigate our route then dive. l love driving, so it works well for us
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:24 AM   #11
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Yes, yes, yes it is you that has the issue & you should get over it. I've NEVER had any driving help as I have one of those wives that simply won't. So I envy you guys that have help. Lastly, maybe you are fixating too much on her driving & it would be best to not hold on too tight. Take a snooze, rest your eyes, read a book, or engage in conversation, but above all leave her alone & let her drive.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:24 AM   #12
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Yep, it's you. Me I am glad my wife (Susan) drives. I love to look out and take photos along our route. I don't care about no stinker side mirror. I can get up, make coffee, lunch, even go to the bathroom while she drives. My only real problem ? is my Chocolate Lab Dakota, she takes over the Co-Pilot Seat

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Old 01-11-2019, 08:11 AM   #13
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I know that I am a really bad backseat driver. Therefore I do all of the rv driving.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:35 AM   #14
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My husband used to check the mirrors or even look over his shoulder every time I changed lanes when driving the car. I told him for years how much it bothered me, that he didn’t trust that I was capable of driving without his checking. I haven’t had a ticket in 25 years, and that was a speeding one (yes, I do have a lead foot - cruise control is a godsend for me). Finally I had had it. I pulled over to the side of the road and left the vehicle. I said I refused to drive with him always second guessing me. I was so angry I was cold and absolutely livid, and he finally listened. For the next few months I could see he had to consciously stop himself from checking the mirrors or looking over his shoulder, but he learned. The motorhome has actually been easier. We have rear and side cameras, and he can look at the lanes to his heart’s content to see I am perfectly centered within them. He knows better than to say anything or make it obvious though!

The OP is lucky that his wife hasn’t (yet) gotten to the point I did. I recommend him changing his style.
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