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Old 09-16-2014, 11:35 AM   #1
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25 Adult Truths

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren'tgoing to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes
to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.


14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves alight as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. As soon as you find something at the grocery store that you really like, they will either move it or the company will discontinue it.

24. The driving of all the other people on the road has become markedly worse in the past few years.

25. The first testicular guard, the “Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Life just gets better as you get older, doesn't it?

And lastly:
I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod with headphones.... and how was your day???


This is what happens when old people start using technology!!!
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Old 09-16-2014, 11:49 AM   #2
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Bingo, I related to way more of these items that I ever thought I would. I don't know if that is good or bad......
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Old 09-16-2014, 12:05 PM   #3
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......or more that I'll admit to!!
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Old 09-16-2014, 12:08 PM   #4
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Pertaining to #1, what the heck is a "watch". . . . .
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Old 09-16-2014, 12:09 PM   #5
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Well, at least one of the items on that list is not true as written (However it might be if one word was added)

Several others are far too true.

And on item 15: Mother in law had a chest freezer in the basement of her house and It HAD A LIGHT that came on when the lid was lifted.

I do not recall if the upright in my house's basement had lights or not.

But I agree with #15
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Old 09-16-2014, 10:02 PM   #6
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<font color="black">5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Took 63 years, but I now know how:
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Old 09-16-2014, 10:33 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoose105 View Post
<font color="black">5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Took 63 years, but I now know how:
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Old 09-17-2014, 09:27 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernDriv View Post
1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren'tgoing to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes
to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.


14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves alight as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. As soon as you find something at the grocery store that you really like, they will either move it or the company will discontinue it.

24. The driving of all the other people on the road has become markedly worse in the past few years.

25. The first testicular guard, the “Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Life just gets better as you get older, doesn't it?

And lastly:
Quote:
I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod with headphones..
.. and how was your day???


This is what happens when old people start using technology!!!

I can't quit laughing!
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Old 09-20-2014, 09:21 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoose105 View Post
<font color="black">5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Took 63 years, but I now know how:
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Old 09-20-2014, 09:37 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoose105 View Post
<font color="black">5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Took 63 years, but I now know how:
Only took me a few years......"Honey, would you please fold this sheet?" They get done perfectly.
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Old 09-22-2014, 01:08 AM   #11
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That is great, except that #20 is wrong. The best way to merge two lanes into one is Zipper Merging by both lanes going forward to the merge point and taking turns. The biggest impediment to this is drivers who insist that other people merge early because they choose to. This slows down the merging.

Zipper Merge

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merge_(traffic)
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Old 09-22-2014, 02:55 PM   #12
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No, the biggest impediment for a zipper merge is the idiots that INSIST that no one can get in front of them and ensure that the lane that needs to merge has no room to do so. That causes everything to grind to a halt.....
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Old 09-22-2014, 03:20 PM   #13
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OP, Thank you for the laugh. So many apply to me, I just can't tell you which ones...just pick the most embarrassing ones. Loved it.
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Old 09-22-2014, 03:53 PM   #14
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No, the biggest impediment for a zipper merge is the idiots that INSIST that no one can get in front of them and ensure that the lane that needs to merge has no room to do so. That causes everything to grind to a halt.....
I agree. That is what I said.
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