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Old 02-21-2013, 05:47 PM   #1
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50 Shades of Gray

Four guys have been going to the same
fishing trip for many years.

Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and
tells him he isn't going. Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire, sitting having a cold beer.

"Darn Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......

On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So here I am!
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Old 02-21-2013, 05:51 PM   #2
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:17 PM   #3
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It's great when a plan comes together !!
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:17 PM   #4
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:25 PM   #5
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Saw this thread, and knew immediately who the initial poster would be...Wayne, you're becoming well known or is that recognizable, every day.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:52 PM   #6
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We all can depend on Wayne to throw in good line or two every now and then.
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:12 PM   #7
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LOL! Good one! Here's one for you Wayne: Fifty Sheds of Grey *for men LOL


Fifty Sheds Of Grey

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall...but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.



She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.”
So I took her to Bunning’s.



She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.



Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.



“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly.
“Mmmm, kinky!” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof.”



“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.



“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”



I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.



“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
“I think so,” I gulped. “Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.



“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”



“Are you sure you want this?” I asked. “When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.”
She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge suite on eBay.



“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:15 PM   #8
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That's good.
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Old 02-21-2013, 11:52 PM   #9
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Another funny one Wayne. Did you show this to Earlene, just how brave are you?
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