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Old 12-19-2010, 01:27 PM   #1
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A few to brighten your day

Youth Vs Experience

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!” says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

************************************************** ********

EXERCISE FOR SENIORS

I am only passing this onto my senior friends - (don't be offended - old is old). If you don't have a gym membership, try this. I came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks. Then 50-lb. potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

************************************************** **********



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Old 12-19-2010, 11:25 PM   #2
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i enjoyed your humor, thanks for sharing.
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:25 PM   #3
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Now that is funny....... I dont care if you are a Marine... THAT'S FUNNY....

Thank a vet for your freedom. They earned it while you slept all safe and warm........
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:46 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob/Becky D - VA View Post
Youth Vs Experience

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew! says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

************************************************** ********

EXERCISE FOR SENIORS

I am only passing this onto my senior friends - (don't be offended - old is old). If you don't have a gym membership, try this. I came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks. Then 50-lb. potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

************************************************** **********




got a wonderful laugh from this,,,,thanks
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Old 12-27-2010, 02:03 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Seajay View Post
Now that is funny....... I dont care if you are a Marine... THAT'S FUNNY....

Thank a vet for your freedom. They earned it while you slept all safe and warm........

Marines don't have a sense of humor unless it was issued. Yes I had one issued, and those were very funny!!!
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Old 01-02-2011, 04:47 PM   #6
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Very Very GOOD!!!!!
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Old 01-05-2011, 08:37 PM   #7
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Semper fi USMC 66-70. We all had a sense of humor issued. How else did we survive our DI's and everything else.
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Old 01-08-2011, 05:48 PM   #8
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That was funny!!!!


THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!
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