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10-18-2015, 04:36 PM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: https://binged.it/1KdDqKO
Posts: 2,428
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A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO Costco
Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutrionaly complete,(certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me? I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day!
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10-18-2015, 04:49 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Whitney, TX
Posts: 437
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Thanks! I've heard that before, and even considered trying it myself, but I still laugh my a$$ off when I hear it. Funnier than a rubber crutch!
__________________
USAF, Retired (1962 - 1983)
2006 Monaco Diplomat 40 PRQ
2006 Honda CR-V Toad
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10-19-2015, 08:38 AM
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#3
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Senior Member/RVM #90
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Columbus, MS
Posts: 54,758
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__________________
Joe & Annette
Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometimes I just sits.....
2002 Monaco Windsor 40PBT, 2013 Honda CRV AWD
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10-19-2015, 08:50 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Official iRV2 Sponsor
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,305
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Read this over coffee this morning; a great way to start the day! Thanks
Joel
__________________
Joel (AKA docj)--
RV Technology Specialist
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10-19-2015, 08:55 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Newmar Owners Club Freightliner Owners Club
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,180
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I had to pause a couple of minutes to clear my eyes, before I could finish reading your post. I was laughing so hard that tears welled up...impairing my vision.
That felt good! Thanks!
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Charlie & Ronni
2016 Ventana 4037
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10-23-2015, 10:27 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North Central Vermont
Posts: 1,485
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Quote:
Originally Posted by docj
Read this over coffee this morning; a great way to start the day! Thanks
Joel
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Coffee on the shirt is not a great way to start the day.
__________________
2015 F350 XLT PSD CCSB SRW, Andersen Ultimate hitch
'12 Cougar High Country 299RKS, Mor/Ryde Pinbox
1/77 Armor Bn, 5th Mech, I Corps
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10-23-2015, 11:31 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Winnebago Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Camas, WA
Posts: 872
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When I got to the fire hydrant part I think I laughed so loud that I woke up the folks in the RV next to me!
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10-29-2015, 03:32 PM
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#8
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Member
Winnebago Owners Club Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 78
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its dangerous to read some of these while drinking hot coffee, you know it hurts when you blow real hot coffee through your nose
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10-29-2015, 03:40 PM
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#9
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Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 81
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Hilarious!!
Never heard that one before.
__________________
Alan
2012 Ram 3500 DRW, 6.7HO
2014 Palomino Columbus 340RK
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10-29-2015, 05:59 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Newmar Owners Club Freightliner Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Miramar Beach, Florida
Posts: 865
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That was great, thanks for sharing.
__________________
Ken & Diane
2014 Newmar Ventana 4369 All Electric 400HP
2023 Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland
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10-29-2015, 08:26 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Tiffin Owners Club
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ALABAMA
Posts: 582
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papaw.1
BOY i am glad I don't drink coffee.That was a really good one.
__________________
Billy & Millie (2013 Allegro 36 LA) USMC VET
2018 Ford Escape Titanium,08 Harley trike,Mastertow dolly doxies,Gracie,Special,now Blue Heeler (Patches)
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10-29-2015, 09:12 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,550
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I think that it's great to be crazy and get away with it!!!!
__________________
2006 Monaco Signature 45' Commander IV ISX 600 & 12.5 KW Genset
2013 Avalanche toad
And a rather large and very hairy Bear for a traveling companion
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10-29-2015, 09:40 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 601
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When we were at Steamboat Lake State Park, about 30 miles from the nearest Walmart, I went to buy humming bird food, the liquid in a bottle. One of the other workampers asked me to get some for them also. So, I wound up checking out with 12 bottles of humming bird food. The checker said, "You must have a lot of humming birds." I said, "no, only one, but he is about four feet tall."
__________________
Jim and Darlene Wright
plus Ryder,Poodle and
garbage disposal cross
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