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Old 09-19-2011, 09:36 PM   #15
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Q: Who was the best dancer at the monster ball?














A: The boogie man
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Old 09-20-2011, 08:22 AM   #16
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So, a skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.........
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Old 09-20-2011, 08:30 AM   #17
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Halloween next month so here goes.

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first orders blood, the second also orders blood, the third orders plasma.

The bartender says. So that will be two bloods and a blood lite?
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Old 09-20-2011, 09:54 AM   #18
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These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar. The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders. The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?"
The string says "Yeah."
The bartender says, "aren't you a string?"
The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..."
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Old 09-21-2011, 06:16 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chasfm11 View Post
These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar. The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders. The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?"
The string says "Yeah."
The bartender says, "aren't you a string?"
The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..."
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Old 09-21-2011, 08:07 AM   #20
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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says "Why the long face".
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Old 09-21-2011, 10:24 AM   #21
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Two guys walk into a bar--
You would thing the darned bar was big enough they could have seen it first.
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Old 09-24-2011, 12:54 PM   #22
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A lady was telling her neighbor that she saw a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate, and a dog was hanging onto the tailgate for dear life!She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn't been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him..

A few weeks later, her neighbor saw this truck at the local Bass Pro Shop.

The pick-up truck driver is a local taxidermist with a great sense of humor!

Taxidermists are a weird lot anyway!

And it is not a dog in the first place; it is a Coyote.

Can you imagine how many people tried to stop this guy?


















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Old 09-24-2011, 10:16 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallyrver View Post
A lady was telling her neighbor that she saw a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate, and a dog was hanging onto the tailgate for dear life!She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn't been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him..

A few weeks later, her neighbor saw this truck at the local Bass Pro Shop.

The pick-up truck driver is a local taxidermist with a great sense of humor!

Taxidermists are a weird lot anyway!

And it is not a dog in the first place; it is a Coyote.

Can you imagine how many people tried to stop this guy?


I WANT one of those.
But you've let the cat out of the bag, Arch Nemesis!
How cool would it be to just post that picture, without explanation, on any internet forum?
And then when everybody jumps all over the "dog owner"- ZING!
You lay the joke on them.

I'm cut-and-pasting right now...

Francesca

P.S.

You forgot to have the "dog" walk into a bar...

Francesca
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Old 09-24-2011, 10:36 PM   #24
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Are you sure the coyote is just "hanging on" to the "tail"gate?
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Old 09-27-2011, 04:58 PM   #25
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A seal walks into a bar.
The bartender ask the seal what he want's and the seal replies; "Anything but a Canadian Club!"
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Old 09-27-2011, 05:58 PM   #26
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Q. What's brown and sounds like a bell?

A. Dung
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Old 10-05-2011, 02:43 PM   #27
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An "RV'er" walks into a bar after reading the sign out front "Talking dog for sale, only $10 bucks". Before the RV'er gets inside the bar the dog walks up to him and starts talking....the dog tells the RV'er how he was in Iraq for 2 tours, served with the CIA and also helped provide security protection for the president. The RV'er is amazed and he walks in the bar and asks the bartender if he's the owner of the talking dog? The bartender says yes, he owns the talking dog. The RV'er asks; "why would you sale your talking dog for only $10 bucks, especially after all that the dog has done?"..............the bartender replies, "that dogs full of beans, he never did any of that!"
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Old 10-07-2011, 11:37 PM   #28
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?


A stick!


(the DW says she's not really knitting anything specific - just trying to keep her hands busy so she won't strangle me...)
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