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Old 10-31-2014, 10:24 AM   #1
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Country Coach Owners Club
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Airplane ground crews have their say


Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right..
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny.
(I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last...
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

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Old 10-31-2014, 11:02 AM   #2
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Location: Camas, WA
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That is hysterical! Any more?

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Old 10-31-2014, 11:10 AM   #3
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Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 709
Maybe the midget wanted to get out, missing any of the ground crew?
Mark Taylor
1999 Bounder 32H Ford V10, 2012 Ford Focus, Pretty DW, 2 cats. Retired USAF
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Old 10-31-2014, 11:33 AM   #4
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Location: Gr. Haven, MI
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Rich & Susan Roberts 2015 Duch Star 4369..
-Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure!
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Old 10-31-2014, 01:44 PM   #5
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Location: SoCal
Posts: 8,415
I was in the Air Force doing avionics maintenance. Many similar items in my years there.

P. Knob loose on radar control set
S. Knob job complete

P. Range indicator changes by factor of three with X3 range switch engaged
S. Thanks

P. Any number of write-up's due to cockpit switches set incorrectly..
S. Duplicated write up, no problem found

P. Lost left aft missile
S. Found it!

P. Any number of silly write-up's...
S. Corrected short between pilot headsets...
Vince and Susan
2011 Tiffin Phaeton 40QTH (Cummins ISC/Freightliner)
Flat towing a modified 2005 Jeep (Rubicon Wrangler)
Previously a 2002 Fleetwood Pace Arrow 37A and a 1995 Safari Trek 2830.
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Old 11-04-2014, 07:05 AM   #6
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Location: LaGrange, Georgia
Posts: 71
Thanks for the morning giggle !

2000 National Tradewinds 7373 DP
2013 Jeep Wrangler - toad
Harley Davidson Ultra Classic (optional toad)
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