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Old 10-14-2014, 10:25 AM   #1
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Best comeback #1

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....


Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:47 PM   #2
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When I changed cloths in that same locker room as the police (Alas, not the courthouse) I could not have given that same answer as the only lawyers who were ever in that room, far as I know, were also state police Sgts and/or Lt's. (And darn good ones too).

However the janitor was a convicted felon and when one of the troopers accidentally forgot to lock the locker... Stole the trooper's property.
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:52 PM   #3
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Excellent
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Old 10-14-2014, 05:39 PM   #4
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The story goes that the Medical Examiner was on the stand.


The Defense attorney is asking him about the body he autopsied

Was he dead when you started the autopsy
Yes
Did you check to make sure he was dead
NO
Then how did you know he was dead, Did you check for a pulse
No
Respiration
No
Pupal reaction
NO
Then how did you know he was dead

Well his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but I guess he could be up walking around and practicing law somewhere.
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Old 10-14-2014, 05:54 PM   #5
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Thanks for the laughs guys
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