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Old 02-12-2016, 03:56 PM   #1
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Can't take credit for writing, but thought I would share

Today's Stock Market Report:

Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
The Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market
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Old 02-12-2016, 04:19 PM   #2
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Sounds par for that course :(
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Old 02-12-2016, 08:50 PM   #3
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As a retired stockbroker I appreciate that.

Thanks
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Old 02-12-2016, 11:08 PM   #4
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Good one!!
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Old 02-13-2016, 05:19 AM   #5
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Good ones.
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Old 02-13-2016, 06:25 AM   #6
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Old 02-13-2016, 08:53 AM   #7
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Old 02-13-2016, 08:55 AM   #8
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Thumbs up....
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