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Old 03-25-2016, 05:01 PM   #1
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Location: Fairbury, Nebraska
Posts: 110
Could this Be You?

After
I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Target.
Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally
unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to
browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from
the local Target:



Dear Mrs.Harris,
Over the
past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our
store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to,
ban both of you from the store.



Our
complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and
are documented by our video surveillance cameras:



1. June
15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice
on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July
19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from
her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union



grievance,
causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We
don't have a Code 3.

5. August 4: Went to the Service
Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.



6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if
they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department
to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a
clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just
leave me alone?' EMTs were
called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security
camera and used it, as a mirror while he picked his nose.



10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11.
October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly
humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using
different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a
clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK
ME!'

14. October 22: When an
announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

15.
Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the
fitting room? And last, but not least:

16. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled
very loudly, 'Hey! There's no
toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks passed out.



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Old 03-25-2016, 05:18 PM   #2
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I love it
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Old 03-25-2016, 06:43 PM   #3
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Sound like a lot of fun.:2funn y:
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Old 03-25-2016, 10:59 PM   #4
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Old 03-25-2016, 11:22 PM   #5
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Mr Harris,

I see men reaching for their pad and pen....
You don't know what you have just got started......or....do....you???

W.D.
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Old 03-26-2016, 07:56 AM   #6
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got to admit it would be fun
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Old 03-26-2016, 08:12 AM   #7
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That's about the time of life when the second childhood takes effect.

I can see me doing some of this
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Old 03-26-2016, 09:20 AM   #8
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Seen it before, but it never gets old! I especially like #16!
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Old 03-26-2016, 11:59 AM   #9
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Me likes number 16...

Ideas..

Have burritos for lunch and at about right time enter and hope other folks near.

After sound and smell ask...
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