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Old 10-24-2011, 01:56 PM   #1
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Cush maker, USN

First, I'm just sitting around waiting for some computers to update with new software So i thought I would take this opportunity for story telling. Maybe I should have put this in the "Sea Story" section, but oh well.
=====================================

A seaman was reporting for duty aboard a ship. When he reported aboard, he saluted the Ensign, then the OOD who was also an Ensign. (You have to be military to understand the difference beteen Ensign, and Ensign) He reported in a loud voice, "Seaman Leroy Jones, Cush Maker, United States Navy reporting aboard for duty" (Name is made up so don't take offense. - All names are changed to protect the guilty, and innocent.)

The OOD did not want to look like a fool, but he had no idea what a Cush Maker was, but he didn't let on. When the Seaman had passed he turned to his Lieutenant Junior Grade and asked what a Cush Maker was. The Lt. Jg. really had no idea, but he thought that he would look stupid if he didn't answer, so he instead chastised the young Ensign for not knowing and told him in no uncertain Navy lingo. The Lt. Jg., in turn, asked the Lieutenant with the same results, and so it went to the Lt. Cmdr, Cmdr, Captain, Admiral, and so as not to bore you to death, all the way to the Secretary of Defense, who replied down, "Of course we have a Cush Maker in the United States Navy." And it was left at that as it traveled back down the chain of command and eventually to the Ensign who was brazen enough to ask the quesiton, "What is a Cush Maker?"

Meanwhile, Seaman Leroy Jones, Cush Maker, USN was down in the hold working away with secrecy. Finally one day about 6 months later when out at sea, Seman Jones, Cush Maker, USN, crawled out of the hold. (If you don't know what the hold of a ship is, you can Google it.) Seaman jones, Cush Maker shouted, "Man the boom." Everyone was so surprised they just started complying. "Swing the boom." "Lower the boom." "Stand by." and he disappeared into the hold. A few minutes later he crawled out still disheveled, unshaven, hadn't showered in 6 months, and shouted again, "Raise the boom."

Up came this huge sphere (round thing for non-Marines reading this) made of steel. Again the Cush Maker shouted, "Fire the torches and apply heat to this sphere," and again without question, mesmerized, the order was carried out.

The sphere was being heated. It started to turn cherry red from the heat, and then it was glowing white from the intense heat being applied, and the Cush Maker, USN shouted, "Swing the boom sea." And the boom swung over the side of the ship. The final command was given, "Release the sphere from the boom."

(I hope I have kept your interest up during this read. Now, just wait for it)
.
.
.
(wait)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cuuuuuuuussssssssssshhhhhhhhh!


I hope I have the sequence of events correct. It has been a long time since I first told this story, like about in 1976 or so. Just have patience, I may have a few more - NOT.
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Old 10-24-2011, 02:16 PM   #2
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Well that's 2 minutes of my life I won't get back
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Old 10-24-2011, 02:49 PM   #3
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'the' Ensign = Flag

thats about all I cared about in this one..

Marines make such lousy storytellers
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Old 10-24-2011, 04:52 PM   #4
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for a Marine..........its pretty funny


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Old 10-25-2011, 12:11 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sdennislee View Post
Well that's 2 minutes of my life I won't get back
Three minutes for me, but I read slow and didn't want to miss anything.
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Old 10-25-2011, 12:35 AM   #6
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For Shame for shame on you Top !!!
I wonder how many are still trying to figure out what a Cush Maker is?



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Old 10-25-2011, 12:42 AM   #7
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Quote:
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Well that's 2 minutes of my life I won't get back
Your A Sailor and you are forgiven for that!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Craig_R View Post
Three minutes for me, but I read slow and didn't want to miss anything.
Your Just a Retired Truck Driver.....we gotta stick together.


I had a CPO tell me once that I was just a stupid truck driver and probably couldn't read and write. (while I was getting the wet garbage on a Sunday Night,) I just dumped the container and drove off the pier. True story

I used to work for PWC. Before I went out on disability.

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Old 10-25-2011, 12:54 AM   #8
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Tried to post a link, but the video showed up and its a little too much for the forum... :(
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Old 10-25-2011, 12:57 AM   #9
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When I first heard it, it was a ''Kludge maker''.

Don
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Old 10-25-2011, 10:58 AM   #10
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A Kludge Maker is when the stuff hits the fan, (another story) but not even close to a Cush Maker.
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