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Old 05-10-2012, 07:48 PM   #1
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Dead Duck

Your Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her
pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said,
"I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman
wailed, "Are you sure?" Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The
vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few
minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up
at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a
cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from
head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed
softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said,
"I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead
duck."?

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill,
which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the
bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill
would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now
$150."
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Old 05-10-2012, 08:17 PM   #2
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LOL!..
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Old 05-10-2012, 08:31 PM   #3
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That one is so old it has mold growing on it.

ken
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Old 05-10-2012, 10:18 PM   #4
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Yeah but its still funny!!!

Dan
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Old 05-10-2012, 11:15 PM   #5
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Never heard it before and it is funny.
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Old 05-10-2012, 11:35 PM   #6
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Whhaaa! I had a pet duck named Cuddles.

but yeah, have heard that one before too.
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:31 AM   #7
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Golden Labs never lie!!!
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:59 AM   #8
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Good one. I needed a laugh!
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:01 AM   #9
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True story. I knew a guy named John whose blonde wife paid a vet $80 to suture up an unnamed chicken after their dog got ahold of it. The chicken did not survive 24 hours. She then gave it a funeral.

John later died from anaphalactic shock 100 feet from his house. (no, not over the vet bill) -- from a bee sting because he thought he "outgrew" his bee allergy, no longer carried his Epipen, got stung mowing the grass (on a riding mower) and tried to run to the house to get it.

Darwin's theory proven once again.
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:38 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just For Fun View Post
Golden Labs never lie!!!

Because they are the only smart blondes.....
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Old 05-19-2012, 07:02 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick Long
Your Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her
pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said,
"I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman
wailed, "Are you sure?" Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The
vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few
minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up
at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a
cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from
head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed
softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said,
"I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead
duck."?

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill,
which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the
bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill
would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now
$150."
Hahaha!
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