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DonavonP · 09-13-2005, 05:25 AM

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its peak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what, with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up.

DonavonP · 09-13-2005, 05:25 AM

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its peak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what, with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up.

FatDog · 09-13-2005, 07:08 AM

thats a good one!

Along that same line, ... true story from my house:
Cordie is an animal nut. We have dogs, fish, iguana, birds, rats, ... and whatever else shows up. She is very dedicated to her pets.

We (of course

) took her pet rat with us one time when we went camping and it caught a cold. The thing is having a little trouble breathing. So when we get back home, she takes it to our neighborhood vet. mind you, this is a rat that cost $1.50 at a pet store.

true story ... While she is at the Vet, i get a call from the Vet who tells me he is standing in his back office with the rat, and he tells me Cordie is crying out in his lobby. The Vet tells me the rat has an pnemonia and that it doesn't look real good. He tells me that he had told Cordie that they have an oxygen tent that they use for dogs/cats that will probabaly cure the rat's pnemonia. BUT THAT IT COSTS $500 A DAY AND IT USUALLY TAKES 2 OR 3 DAYS!!! to cure.
He told me that Cordie was very happy to hear that there was a solution for one of her favorite pets. The doctor, i think a bit confused, asks me:

" ... so ehhh son, what do you want me to do??? ..."

i could see he was talking to me in privacy and that he considered this treatment a bit extreme considering the type of pet. (Mind you, some people just REALLY love animals, i can't fault Cordie for her generous heart.)
I proclaimed loudly, and yet earnestly, to the Doc:
" Doc, i can't really afford that!! But if i have to do it to keep my family happy i guess i'll have to.. ... , but Doctor you just do the right thing!! I leave it up to you."
I could just imagine Cordie crying for one of her pets out in his lobby. The Doc and I both felt bad for Cordie.

Well Cordie got home 20 minutes later.
I meet her at our driveway and anxiously ask what happened.
She told me that the good Doctor had taken the rat to a private examining room, and that the poor rat had passed away while he was being examined.
The Doctor had never told Cordie about his phonecall to me.
Apparently the Doctor did the right thing.

(the office visit cost $40 which I happily paid)

camper1b · 09-13-2005, 07:37 AM

Yeah, when a child gets really attached to a rodent, it tends to skew budgetary considerations. We have a pet hamster "Hammy" for which I paid $4.99. I then paid $30 for a plastic cage that it promptly ate through and another $30 for another different style cage. So now I'm up to $60 for the $5 animal and I haven't even bought any food yet!

The kicker, however, is that we just returned from a 7 week trip. We couldn't take the hamster and we didn't want to burden our friends with having to clean a hamster cage every weeks. So, what do we do? Why, we pay $10 per week, (that's right - $70!) for a pet sitter to look after the hamster.

So now I'm looking at $130 so far for this $5 hamster! Sheeesh!

FatDog · 09-16-2005, 10:33 AM

I don't think we have to worry about the critters, they appear to be taking care of themselves.

Frankie · 09-18-2005, 02:37 AM

My last dog ate a piece of latex foam and needed surgery to remove it as it was causing major blockage.The vet says $2800 and wants it up front.Dog was a mutt,but I say go ahead and pay.Next morning vet calls and tells me she past the foam and was reimbursed everything but $ 200.I wont spend that kind of money on myself, but dogs, well ,mine anyway is family!