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Old 03-22-2012, 05:33 PM   #1
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Dog diary vs cat diary

The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Ken, Chris & Toby (Golden Retriever)
2009 Beaver Contessa
1984 LS1 CJ7
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Old 03-22-2012, 07:48 PM   #2
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Now that's funny.


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Old 03-22-2012, 11:09 PM   #3
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We have 2 of each. I think this is probably a true story.
US Navy Vet, Liberty Tree Member of Oath Keepers, NRA & VFW Life Member, Alaska EMT.
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Old 03-23-2012, 07:41 PM   #4
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A lot ot truth to that, good one
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Old 03-23-2012, 08:50 PM   #5
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Purrrrfect !
NOTE; I am not responsible for typos, poor grammer or misspelled word !
04 Itasca, Meridian 34H, 330 Cat/2003 CR V Toad
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Old 03-28-2012, 07:35 PM   #6
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Dogs have masters.

Cats have staff.
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Old 03-28-2012, 07:53 PM   #7
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Cats have staff
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Old 03-30-2012, 11:12 AM   #8
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In ancient Egypt, cats were revered as deities...

Cats have not forgotten this...
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Old 03-30-2012, 11:18 AM   #9
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Here's more.....

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still LODGED between my teeth.
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Old 04-07-2012, 11:28 AM   #10
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I told my friend, "My dog thinks he's human."

And he said, "My cat thinks he's GOD."

Ray & Mary
aka Flotsam & Jetsam, The Wandrin' Waters
"Not all who wander are lost."
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