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Old 09-25-2010, 08:45 AM   #1
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Don't Know If It's True But

!! ! ! !
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... Isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... But I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a polite society!

2014 Wildwood 27RKSS 2004 Nissan Titan Pilot Steve
Co-Pilot Marlene Furry Four Leg children: Fancy Lab/Chow, LB Little Bit, Maltese, Rocky, Border Terrier
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Old 09-25-2010, 09:12 AM   #2
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Regardless whether it's true or not....I appreciate the chuckle!! I really needed that! Hysterical! Thanks for posting!

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Old 09-25-2010, 10:20 AM   #3
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LOVE IT!!!!!!!


you sure that didn't come from Oklahoma City?? LOL

"Now why would you want to do something like that?" - My Dad
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Old 09-25-2010, 10:43 AM   #4
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We can only hope it is true!!!!!!!!!!!
Brian, Loretta & Daisy (Golden Retriever)
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Old 09-25-2010, 12:32 PM   #5
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I enjoyed the chuckle and hope it was just that......an armed society is not necessarily a polite one....ask your fellow soldiers working in Iraq or Afganistan ...... or look in our own back yard with the many ethic groups fighting amongst themselves......
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Old 09-25-2010, 09:19 PM   #6
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Some guys (and gals) just gotta dream. Could make for a pretty good movie though. Thanks for the laugh.
In the Heart of Arizona
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Old 10-03-2010, 08:08 PM   #7
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Don't know if the story is true, but it was actually posted on craigslist back then.

Dennis & Debbie Z (Retired) F415847
Pipe Creek, TX
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Old 10-04-2010, 07:24 PM   #8
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Gotta' love it when a plan comes together.

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Old 10-04-2010, 08:23 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by TXiceman View Post
Gotta' love it when a plan comes together.

Dang I was going to say that

ROFL also applies here.

Though I do not know if this story is true or not.. I know a couple I"ve gotten from the parties of the part as it were (story told 1st person present) that...

Well. are fairly close.

But none of them were this good
Home is where I park it!
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Old 10-04-2010, 08:51 PM   #10
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Street justice!!!

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Discovery is seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what no one else has thought.
If you want to see what man made go East; if you want to see what God made go West.
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