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Old 02-13-2009, 04:45 PM   #1
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DUI - TEXAS STYLE

>From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin , Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.


He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and t hen switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.


At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a Breathalyzer test.


To his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.

This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'


'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'
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Old 02-13-2009, 07:12 PM   #2
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I love it!
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Old 03-03-2009, 11:50 PM   #3
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Yes this is a really good clean one, thanks Scottsdale.
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Old 03-04-2009, 04:42 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by Scottsdale:
DUI - TEXAS STYLE

'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'
And now for the rest of the story:

One of the redneck's friends, driving while intoxicated, ran head-on into a nice family of five - the kids were ages 2, 4 and 7 - and they were all killed when their van caught fire. The drunk driver was unhurt. Tomorrow night it's his turn to be the "designated decoy."

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Old 03-04-2009, 05:07 AM   #5
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Scotsdale, funny, had heard this one before, but had forgotten it. Looks like you may have stepped on some Texas toes by posting it though. Maybe change the state name to anothrer would appease.


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Old 03-04-2009, 05:22 AM   #6
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No Texas toes stepped on here . . . I just think drunk driving is stupid no matter where it's done!

Can anyone think of a state in which it is a good thing?
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Old 03-04-2009, 07:10 AM   #7
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It was HUMOR for goodness sake - and being a retired LEO, I think it was funny.
The humor is not the fact that in this make-believe story that there might have been a drunk driver, but that the officer hanging out in the parking lot got fooled in such an inovative way.
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Old 03-04-2009, 08:17 AM   #8
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SeeTheUSA,

The above tale was posted in the HUMOR forum. No one I know of condones drunk driving. I could understand your reaction had it been posted on a MADD forum.

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Old 03-04-2009, 09:54 AM   #9
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It is funny, but the drunk drivers are getting to be a real problem. Seeems like every day lately, there is an accident where people we either injured or kill due to a suspected DUI.

Recently, there was one locally where a man and his young daughter were killed by a young woman that was on probabtion from a previuos DUI and a suspended license.

A joke like this is not funny to someone that knows someone or has lost a loved one to a DUI.

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Old 03-04-2009, 12:05 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by dieselclacker:
SeeTheUSA,

The above tale was posted in the HUMOR forum. No one I know of condones drunk driving. I could understand your reaction had it been posted on a MADD forum.
Actually it was posted in the "RV'ing Humor & Crazy but True Stories" forum . . . since it's obviously not RV'ing humor, I guess it was the part at the beginning of the post which threw me - where it said ". . . comes this true story . . ." that made me think it must then be a TRUE STORY.

I hope it really was humor, in spite of the fact it wasn't clearly presented as such.

Ha! Now I get it.



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Old 03-04-2009, 01:23 PM   #11
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SeeTheUSA,

I guess its just a matter "true story" perception that we dissagree on then.

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Old 03-04-2009, 03:16 PM   #12
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DUIF (Diving Under the Influence of Fish) - ANTARCTIC STYLE

From the continent where DUIF is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine coast guard cutter parked outside an iceberg in the Antarctic after last call, the Coast Guard noticed a penguin leaving the iceberg so apparently intoxicated with fish that he could barely waddle.

The penguin waddled around the iceberg for a few minutes, with the coast guard quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried to enter the water in five different places, the penguin managed to find his place and dove into the water.


He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other penguins left the iceberg and swam off.

Finally he started the boat, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horns and then switched on the lights.

He moved the boat forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other penguins left.


At last, when his was the only one left around the iceberg, he pulled out and drove slowly around the iceberg.

The coast guarder, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol boat, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the penguin over and administered a Fishhalyzer test.


To his amazement, the Fishhalyzer indicated no evidence that the penguin had consumed any fish at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the coast guard station.

This Fishhalyzer equipment must be broken.'


'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck penguin. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'
----------------------------------------------------
I am as much against drunk driving as anyone. I don't care if they put them under the jail if caught. But this was a JOKE. I have re-written it as you can see above. Had no intention of offending anyone with the original post and apologize to anyone that it did offend. Moderators, feel free to delete the thread if so inclined. I'm from TN and as Jeff Foxworthy said about rednecks "I are one".
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Old 03-04-2009, 04:38 PM   #13
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Way to go Scottsdale!!! Cute, I love it. I am in complete agreement about drunk drivers.




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Old 03-04-2009, 04:39 PM   #14
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i think this same exact joke/thread here a couple months ago, wasn't it?
but it appears to be gone now
it met with the exact same reaction from both sides then too
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