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Old 03-28-2013, 08:44 PM   #1
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"Famous Quotes"

I'M CONFIDENT A FEW OF THESE LITERATE PEARLS WILL MAKE YOU SMILE...
<><>
I had a rose named after me, and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had
ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish
to withdraw that statement..

- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy;
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential
food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Ogden Nash
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My luck's so bad, if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you
a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was Shut Up!

- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope
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I never drink water --
because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

- W. C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down --if it had to
work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty...
But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

- Phyllis Diller
<><>
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal
<><>
The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good--spit it out

May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.
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Old 03-29-2013, 04:42 AM   #2
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Thanks Les. They are good old quotes. Always enjoy seeing them.
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Old 03-29-2013, 07:24 AM   #3
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I'm sure that you will receive many more, so I'll start it off.

You can't reason a man out of a belief that he was never reasoned into.
Jonathan Swift


Joel
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Old 03-29-2013, 08:42 AM   #4
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"Anyone that that thinks money can't buy you happiness.....Doesn't know where to shop"!

Quote by " My Wife"
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:13 AM   #5
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“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.”

“Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.”

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”

“A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.”

“Words that soak into your ears are whispered…....not yelled.”

“Meanness don't just happen overnight.”

“Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.”

“Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.”

“It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.”

“You cannot unsay a cruel word.”

“Every path has a few puddles.”

“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”

“The best sermons are lived, not preached.”

“Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.”

“Don 't judge folks by their relatives.


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Old 03-29-2013, 12:36 PM   #6
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I love this one.
"I was too ignorant to know it could not be done so I went ahead and did it."
Will Rogers.
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:46 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RoyM View Post
I love this one.
"I was too ignorant to know it could not be done so I went ahead and did it."
Will Rogers.
He must have been an RVer!
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Old 04-14-2013, 02:54 AM   #8
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Larry and Rita, the first one is actually still buried in Indiana law concerning the building of fences where the two adjoining property owners must split the expenses. You pay for the right half- as you view the fence from your property) If one property owner builds all the fence at his personal expense it does not apply.
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Old 04-14-2013, 08:08 AM   #9
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"where did all these indians come from?" - George Custer
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Old 04-15-2013, 11:43 AM   #10
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By my Dad when as a kid and afraid of going near a cemetery,

"You don't have to worry about those people, It's the live ones you need to watch out for"
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Old 04-15-2013, 10:18 PM   #11
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Quote:
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"where did all these indians come from?" - George Custer

Custer died in an Arrow shirt...............

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