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Seajay · 03-22-2010, 07:53 PM

Fly swat Montan

Along the roads out west in Montana and Wyoming there many little ''towns'' Some consist of a few buildings that are ''combination'' structures. They serve several purposes and offer a variety of services to the passer by in need of help, food, directions, camping, where to go fishing ….etc etc …..
I dont really remember the name of the particular ''town'' (Fly Swat, population four as I recall) that we stopped at but it consisted of '' one combination store''... The store featured the following. Garage, tire shop, cafe, tanning parlor, small grocery store, sheriffs office and camp ground office, bus stop and gas station. As I recall it was on the left heading west in Montana.... Anyhow.........
I eased the coach up to the pump and hopped out to fill my tank. A lady wearing an apron approached and informed me she would be glad to pump the gas and clean the windshield for me. ''Wow, good service''.....
As she cleaned the windshield, I noticed a 357 S&W holstered on her hip and a sheriffs badge pinned to her apron.... Hummmmmmmmm ?
When she finished filling the tank she asked if we were hungry and we said yes …... Good steaks inside for seven dollars with all the trimmings.... I parked the coach and we went inside.
The cafe was small but very clean. There was her husband doing the cooking and she wiped down the table with a windshield squeegee and took our order. We ordered steaks, a salad, Texas toast and ice tea...... I wanted to question her about the ''squeegee'' for cleaning tables but since she was ''armed'' I just let that pass. The steaks came out and they were perfect. Tender and cooked to perfection. The guy served them to us because the lady was out front pumping gas and cleaning windshields. I asked him about the gun and the sheriffs badge and here is the story he told us in his own words.
It seems that thru some sort of government thing the little town had been incorporated some time ago … This meant that they had to elect a sheriff and a mayor,. He told us that he was the mayor, mechanic, tanning bed operator, tire changer and general handy man etc.. and he and the waitress, dishwasher, janitor, check out clerk and stock person, elected his wife as sheriff and she took the job dead serious. I asked about the ''population of 4 thing'' and he explained that the fourth person was 'Shep' the collie dog that hung around the campground. I then asked about the ''waitress', dishwasher, janitor' check out clerk and stock peson. He explained that he made the error of helping her into the tanning bed one evening when things were really slow. It seems that his wife the sheriff, windshield washer, gas pumper, table cleaner waitress, caught him, the mayor, mechanic, tanning bed operator, tire changer and general handy man etc.. in a delicate situation concerning the waitress, dishwasher, janitor, check out clerk and stock person and she whipped out the 357 S&W pistol. She (the wife who is the sheriff, gas pumper, windshield cleaner etc etc) arrested the waitress, dishwasher, janitor for indecent exposure and threw her in jail. The jail consisted of one of the toilets in the back of the combination Garage, tire shop, cafe, tanning parlor, small grocery store, sheriffs office and camp ground office, bus stop and gas station and held her there under lock and key until the next bus to Denver came by and she put the waitress, dishwasher, janitor on same and warned her that if she ever seen her again she would be in deep trouble....
He asked if we would like to camp there for the night... He said the 'campground' was in the pasture west of town and on the honor system and it was five dollars. He said for water there was a well with a windless and a bucket and you had to ''draw your own''. The electricity consisted of a 'five gang' plug in like on a computer. It was taped to a tree and you just plugged in and you could not run your air conditioner because that would trip out the breaker and all the electricity would stop. He also advised us not to mess with the bull and to be sure and lock the gate when we came thru the fence.
We took a pass on the campground but I would advise that if you are ever heading west thru Montana and you see the small town of ''Fly Swat'' that you stop for gas and have a steak …....
Seajay and Willa …..... THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES ...

Ray,IN · 03-28-2010, 09:35 PM

Great story! That's something you'll never forget, isn't it.

RoyM · 04-05-2010, 09:21 PM

We stopped for fuel just down the road in Circle MT. It was an experience.

BigSkyBob · 04-05-2010, 09:29 PM

Lived in Montana all my years and have never made it to Fly Swat. Must be about the same size as Open Switch, MT.

Seajay · 04-06-2010, 05:50 AM

Understand this...... WE LOVED MONTANA.... It is one of the few states where you can drive for thirty minutes and NOT SEE NOTHIN'...... NO CARS, NO TRUCK, NO RAILROAD, NO TELEPHONE POLES, NO HOUSES, NO PEOPLE......... NOTHING....
Willa and I were crossing Montana and we had that experience of ''BEING ALONE'' We rode and rode and we were the only people anywhere.......HUMMMMMMM... ''where did everyone go''?
I will relate one quick story about the time that three friends and myself rode motorcycles across this great nation form Nc to Washington state.
We were crossing Montana and it occurred to us that we had not seen a gas station for some time. We communicated via c.b. radios and discovered that each of us was below one quarter of a tank of fuel........ oh shux.......
We ambled on afraid to go back and not being sure what was ahead. Some time later my ''reserve'' light came on and I knew I was down to less than half a gallon of gas. My three friends were in the same situation............
We finally saw a sign that said ''BLUE MOON SALOON'', turn here. We turned with the hope that they also sold gas.
The BLUE MOON SALOON was a very low structure made from lodge pole pine logs, it looked abandoned.........
We pulled into the parking lot next to the single gas pump. I went up to the door and knocked........
A lady that looked to be about 300 years old opened the door and asked ''What the ''H'' do you want?'' I replied that we needed gasoline for our motorcycles ..... She waddled toward the back and flipped a fuze box on. She informed me that we would have to pump our own gas and she didnt take no checks, credit cards or I.O.U.'s.........CASH ON THE BARREL HEAD...NO EXCEPTIONS...
The interior of this place was something to see. It was dimly lit with a sign behind the bar that said .... THIS IS MY DAMN BAR AND I WILL RUN IT ANY DAMN WAY I PLEASE.... Under the sign was a large double barrel shot gun hanging in two horse shoes. I offhandedly asked if it was possible to get something to eat and she replied that ''this is a saloon, not Mc Donalds''......
We paid for our gas and headed east.......
Word to the wise...... When you get down to half a tank of gas........ fillup at the next opportunity .......
Seajay the sailor man

GaryKD · 04-11-2010, 02:53 PM

This kind of reminds me when we were traveling through South Dakota. We were off the main highway and stopped in Pierre (the state capitol). The motel operator (who let us park in his parking lot for a fee less than a room) suggested we go to a restaurant for dinner. This is a steak and potato place. We arrived at the restaurant. Dirt parking lot and a hitching post (complete with trough) was available for parking. We entered the restaurant (I had to duck due to the low entry way ceiling). The restaurant floor was very rough cut logs. Because it was Tuesday night there were only about 4 other tables occupied. At the end of the bar was a place for a band. This was complete with chicken wire to protect the performers from the patrons. The walls were adorned with ,,,,,, nothing. The server took our order. I asked for my salad plain (no dressing). She told me they didn't serve salad plain. I asked for the dressing, on the side. When the salad was served, there was a huge glob of dressing covering the side of the salad and bowl. I guess I must had looked puzzled. The server asked, in a tone of voice only a mother would defy, that is okay, isn't it. I agreed and the rest of the dinner was quite enjoyable.

RedneckExpress · 08-06-2010, 03:53 PM

Shame ya don't remember the town's name Seajay, I deliberately go out of my way to find these little places and write about 'em myself. Wouldn't mind adding "Fly swat" to the list.

eieioh · 08-06-2010, 04:06 PM

May I suggest a stop at Belle Fourche South dakota? You should get a kick out of it too.

ed

RedneckExpress · 08-06-2010, 04:41 PM

Thank ye

Seajay · 08-07-2010, 06:41 AM

Back in 87 when myself and 3 friends rode Goldwing motor cycles across the USA from Nc to Washington state we had occasion to stop in Hamer, Idaho I think. It is hard to remember back that far and to separate all the places I have been but as I recall, Hamer was in Idaho. It was one of those two building towns with everything on the west side of the rail road tracks. We turned off the ''big road'' on to an access road and then to ''Beautiful Down Town Hamer'' by turning right at the stop sign. The first building was a Cafe, gas station, garage, beauty parlor and the sheriffs office as I recall. The ''other building'' was a gas station, general store, John Deere dealership and a Wells Fargo shipping company. It was a beautiful place and the folks were really friendly. I convinced the towns people (all four of them) that we were ''front runners'' for the famous Charles Kerault and that he would be thru here soon and do a ''feature program'' about their little town. We had lunch in the cafe and filled the tanks on the bikes and we made friends with the entire population of Hamer.
God bless our troops and bring them home soon and safe
God bless our vets for their service to this great nation ......

TXiceman · 08-07-2010, 03:22 PM

Wow, we have been to Toad Suck, AR and it was nothing like Fly Swat.

Ken

Chuck 1935 · 08-07-2010, 05:29 PM

I guess my trip to Cut and Shoot Texas, just east of Conroe was pretty mild compared to you guy' stories. Although I do remember an incident at Ruby's bar in Terlingua, Hmmmm, later.

Wayne M · 08-07-2010, 08:43 PM

These two guys had a canary. They kept feeding it, and feeding it, and feeding it, until it got so big, they had to do something. So, they got it out on the road somehow and began to roll it up, up, up, up, and up this big hill. When the got to the top there was a huge turn-out with a splendid view. They rolled that canary over to the edge and pushed it over.

I know, I know! It's a long, long way to Tipecanary.

Seajay · 08-07-2010, 11:26 PM

Willa and I went by a ''Toad Suck Park'' somewhere but I cant remember where it was. We have been to the ''Ha Ha'' cemetery up in Nova Scotia. and we have seen the ''Curl up and Die'' beauty parlor along with ''Diapers and Snot''.. ''We clean both ends'' child care center. And up in Niagara Falls there is a funeral parlor named ''Am-I-Gone''....... and we have been to the big town of McAllister, Montana where the signs are on both sides of the same post. We went thru ''North'', South Carolina once. As I recall it was south of ''East'', South Carolina I believe. It was somewhere in the ''up'' state. (top of SC)....
Anyhow........ We have seen a bunch of small towns everywhere. they are the Flavor that makes a trip worth traveling..... We once stopped in the middle of ''main street'' in a small town out west to let a momma duck and her brood cross the road in front of us.

ps. Wayne the Marine has been in the cooking sherry again......lol...