Funny Headlines

[trouthound]

1.
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
2.
Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
3.
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
4.
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
5.
Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says
6.
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
7.
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
8.
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
9.
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
10.
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
11.
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
12.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
13.
Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
14.
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
15.
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16.
Actual Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
17.
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
18.
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
20.
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
21.
Teenage girls often have babies fathered by men
22.
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
23.
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
24.
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
25.
Infertility unlikely to be passed on
26.
Work after Death
27.
Child's death ruins couple's holiday
28.
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
29.
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
30.
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
31.
Lack of brains hinders research
32.
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
33.
Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
34.
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
35.
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies
36.
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
37.
How to combat that feeling of helplessness with illegal drugs
38.
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
39..
Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
40.
Here's How You Can Lick Doberman's Leg Sores