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Old 03-01-2002, 07:25 PM   #1
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Subject: FW: humor
>
>
> The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
> which is the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
> Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
> improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
> known as "Euro-English".
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
> make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
> favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
> one less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like
> fotograf 20% shorter.
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
> will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
> deterent to akurate speling.
>
> Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
> disgrasful and it should go away.
>
> By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
> with "z" and "w" with "v".
>
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing
> "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
>
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>
> If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza peopl!
>

Jim and Cheri
Mesa, AZ
99 Coleman Bayside
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Old 03-01-2002, 07:25 PM   #2
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Subject: FW: humor
>
>
> The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
> which is the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
> Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
> improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
> known as "Euro-English".
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
> make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
> favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
> one less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like
> fotograf 20% shorter.
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
> will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
> deterent to akurate speling.
>
> Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
> disgrasful and it should go away.
>
> By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
> with "z" and "w" with "v".
>
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing
> "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
>
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>
> If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza peopl!
>

Jim and Cheri
Mesa, AZ
99 Coleman Bayside
__________________

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Old 03-02-2002, 02:03 PM   #3
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Kblwizard: Hey it's funny to read, but if you ever took ten minutes to learn a few German words, everything thats written, is spoken, not like that silly english and french language. But don't get me wrong, I'm not flaming E or F, just could never figure out why there are so many useless silent letters in some languages. Or why a guys name like SCHmidt sounds like "sh" but the word SCHool is "sk". Maybe our kids aren't so far off learning phonetics or should it be fonetix
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Old 03-02-2002, 03:48 PM   #4
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Old 07-03-2007, 10:28 PM   #5
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Your story reminded me of a cruise we took. We were seated at a table with several people from the UK. The one couple had your typical english accent, but the gentleman at the other end had a heavy "cockney" accent. We could hardly understand a word he said. When he finished talking I said to him "I thought I spoke English" to which they all replied "You speak American!"
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Old 07-06-2007, 03:59 PM   #6
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Old 07-10-2007, 11:24 AM   #7
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We have not spoken 'english' in this country for years. I used to work with a few japanese engineers and they could not speak 'amurican slang'. Most of the time during meetings, I sat with them on both sides speaking japanese/english and acted as their interpreter. The good ol' days.Glad I'm retired!!
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