He Passed the English Quiz

[dennis45]

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recently held linguistic competition held in London and attended by supposedly the best in the world,Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.
The final question was:.. How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is NO difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.
Here is his astute answer.. When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED, and when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!!
He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old rum.

[Doggy Daddy]

Different Levels of Stress:

You pick up a hitchhiker, a beautiful girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car and you take her to hospital.


Now that's stressful!


But at the hospital they say she is pregnant & congratulate you that you are going to be a father. You say that you are not the father, but the girl
says you are.


This is getting very stressful!


So then...... you request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.
After the tests are completed, the doctor says that you are infertile, and probably have been since birth.


You are extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way back home, you think about your 3 kids at home.



NOW THAT'S STRESS!!

[Wayne M]

Funny!!!

[Doggy Daddy]

SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE.......It takes less than 15 seconds...

If you are over 45 yrs old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test
How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM


2. F_ _K


3. P_N_S


4. PU_S_


5. S_X


6. BOO_S





| | | | | | | | | |
Answers:

1. RANDOM

2. FORK

3. PANTS

4. PULSE

5. SIX

6. BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?


You do NOT have Alzheimer's


You are a Pervert