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Old 11-18-2004, 10:48 AM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Richmond,MA
Posts: 89
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying
you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable
products.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be bad for you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets and remember,

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the
other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What
a Ride!"
__________________

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Old 11-18-2004, 10:48 AM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Richmond,MA
Posts: 89
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying
you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable
products.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be bad for you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets and remember,

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the
other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What
a Ride!"
__________________

__________________
Have the Best Day You Can

Grumpy Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2005, 10:26 AM   #3
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 4
Yup sounds good to me

Mike
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Old 01-11-2005, 05:38 PM   #4
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Enoch, Utah
Posts: 716
A bumper sticker I saw the other day:

Exercise Daily, Eat Healthy , Get Plenty of Rest


And Die Anyway!

Chet
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1999 Holiday Rambler Endeavor 37WDS
2003 Honda Goldwing Trike
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