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Old 01-10-2019, 10:23 AM   #1
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He'd lie about other things too!

A man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”
The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery.”
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?”
The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.”
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. “So you’re telling me you were speeding…AND committed a robbery?”
“Yes,” the man calmly says. “I have the loot in the back.”
The cop begins to get angry. “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.” The cop reaches in the window to arrest the man.
“Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully. “I’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!” The cop pulls his hand out and calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly. However, before he gets into the police car, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car.”
The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”
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Old 01-10-2019, 11:45 AM   #2
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Haaaaaa!!! Good one Joe!
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Old 01-10-2019, 01:09 PM   #3
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Very funny needed a good laugh
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Old 01-10-2019, 04:56 PM   #4
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I thought it would be political...
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Old 01-10-2019, 05:32 PM   #5
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Hmm, wonder if that would work....
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Old 01-10-2019, 05:42 PM   #6
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Old 01-13-2019, 12:03 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScoobyDoo View Post
I thought it would be political...
Nope, learned my lesson on that!
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:14 PM   #8
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I gotta tell my 2 cousins that joke. Both are retired state policemen.
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:28 PM   #9
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A man in his mid-forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further.

The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn’t run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over.



The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

“It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”

The guy thinks for a second and says: “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer, and walked away.
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Old Yesterday, 11:43 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peto View Post
A man in his mid-forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further.

The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn’t run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over.



The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

“It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”

The guy thinks for a second and says: “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer, and walked away.
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Old Yesterday, 11:53 AM   #11
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Guy lost his wife in a store, security guard asks him if he needed help, he says lost my wife, problem is she finds her way back home every time.
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Old Yesterday, 11:54 AM   #12
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A person is walking down the street sees a poster on a pole, missing wife and dog, with a picture of a dog, under the picture it says reward for dog.
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