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Old 12-12-2013, 08:40 AM   #1
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Hmmmmmm::::::::

A guy calls the hospital and says, “You gotta send help! My wife’s going into labor!” The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?” To which he replies, “No! This is her husband!”
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Old 12-12-2013, 08:59 AM   #2
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A new boater hails the Coast Guard, "send help I'm sinking".
"What is your position"?
"Position"? "Senior Vice President of Planning. Bank of America"!
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Old 12-12-2013, 09:05 AM   #3
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A new boater hails the Coast Guard, "send help I'm sinking".
"What is your position"?
"Position"? "Senior Vice President of Planning. Bank of America"!

The way I heard it, this was a distress call off the coast of Germany. Boater in distress hails "vee are sinking". The Coast Guard replied, "vaht are you sinking about?"
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Old 12-12-2013, 09:29 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by myredracer View Post
The way I heard it, this was a distress call off the coast of Germany. Boater in distress hails "vee are sinking". The Coast Guard replied, "vaht are you sinking about?"
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Old 12-12-2013, 09:56 AM   #5
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Below was stolen from another site i thought funny.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to Bleep?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
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Old 12-12-2013, 01:29 PM   #6
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Golfer with poor eye sight ask for a caddie.

The pro shop produces a ninety five year old man.

The golfer protest but is interrupted "he has the eyes of an eagle".

Well OK, the golfer tees off and hits a booming drive; turns to his caddie, "did you see it"?

"Yep".

"Where did it go"?

"I can't remember".
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Old 12-12-2013, 01:35 PM   #7
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A practical joker gets a Doctors robe out of a hospital closet. He goes into a patient room

He looks at the patient information and says " Mr Shoemaker I need to take your temperature"

"Ok, Doctor."

"I'm old fashion and still do rectal temperatures."

Mr Shoemaker assumes the position "Well if you insist"

The joker departs saying "I'll be back in three minutes".

A minute later a nurse walks in "Mr Shoemaker, what are you doing"?

The Doctor is taking my temperature"

"With a geranium"?
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Old 12-13-2013, 02:06 AM   #8
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Doctor says to patient " you have 6 months to live"
Patient "I want a second opinion!!!"
Doc; ok your ugly too"
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