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Wayne M · 03-08-2013, 06:41 AM

Where to live when you retire!!!
No NURSING HOME FOR me!!!

No nursing home for us. We'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble. I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $59.23 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon. That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. $5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii ? They have Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are okay. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

The grandkids can use the pool.

What more could I ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.

Tumble Weed · 03-09-2013, 07:01 AM

I heard the same about cruise ships.
But after the news as of lately.
Holiday Inn sounds good. At least you can walk away..

palehorse89 · 03-09-2013, 07:24 AM

What happens when the next step in life comes and the next step will come fairly quick when one needs to be cared for or just needs help from time to time through out the day? This is a great idea but I think it will only work for a short period of time when it comes to this point in life.......

Wayne M · 03-09-2013, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palehorse89

What happens when the next step in life comes and the next step will come fairly quick when one needs to be cared for or just needs help from time to time through out the day? This is a great idea but I think it will only work for a short period of time when it comes to this point in life.......

Uh, posted in the "humor" thread?

There is an alternative, don't get old.

palehorse89 · 03-09-2013, 09:37 AM

Amen, Wayne!
My wife and I talked to a women on a cruise once that her husband had passed and she would sign up at the end of the cruise for another tour at less than 1/2 price (we were offered) and she had lived on cruise ships for the last 3 years and see the world by ship, Alaska 6 times! I believe she had some money in her life though. It sure was interesting to talk to her.