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Old 01-07-2016, 12:02 AM   #29
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Two blonds standing on opposite sides of a river.

The first blond hollers across to the second blond "How do I get to the other side?"

The second blond hollers back "You're already on the other side."
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Old 01-23-2016, 09:21 AM   #30
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Old 01-23-2016, 09:22 AM   #31
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Old 01-23-2016, 02:02 PM   #32
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Rooster and cornflakes work well also.
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Old 01-26-2016, 10:41 AM   #33
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Old 01-26-2016, 11:37 AM   #34
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Good one!
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Old 02-11-2016, 04:58 PM   #35
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A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the police arrived.

"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

Yes, officer, I'm just fine." the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along the road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left, and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was......."

"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off. "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

Dr4Film ----- Richard
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Old 02-11-2016, 05:03 PM   #36
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It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with an envelope containing a big gift certificate.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.

At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.

Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring the coffee, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?"

He said, "...Screw him...give him a dollar."

The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."

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Old 02-12-2016, 11:23 AM   #37
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Blonde is naked on the tennis court wearing only shoes - The gate entry sign says "tennis shoes only"
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Old 02-24-2016, 06:43 PM   #38
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Winter Blone

Another one that arrived in my email. Enjoy!


As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up, and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it,he says... "Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in NJ and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"




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Old 03-02-2016, 05:35 PM   #39
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I've got a couple:
Q :Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?

A: She kept throwing away all the W's

Q :A blond and brunette jump from a bridge, who gets to the bottom first?

A: The brunette - the blond had to stop and ask for directions
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Old 03-04-2016, 04:58 PM   #40
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A blond goes into a casino. She plays a lot of the quarter machines. She comes to a machine and puts her quarter in and a Coke comes out. So she puts in another quarter and another Coke comes out. She does this for quite a while and a line has formed behind her. Finally, a person behind her says when is she going to be finished. She turns to them and says " well duh I'm winning "
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Old 03-05-2016, 05:43 PM   #41
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Two blondes walk into a tanning salon.
The receptionist says " Welcome, are you sisters?"
The blondes giggle, and one says "No, we're not even Catholic."



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Old 05-04-2016, 08:42 AM   #42
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Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.
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