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Old 05-23-2016, 11:39 AM   #57
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I was at a bar a few nights ago and there was a blonde jumping up and down on a table shouting "56 days! 56 days!"

So I went up to her and I asked...what are you celebrating?

She shows me a puzzle box and said she put it together in 56 days and the stupid box says 2-4 years!
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Old 05-27-2016, 10:15 AM   #58
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Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
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Old 05-27-2016, 11:00 AM   #59
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How bout some blonde jokes!

I beautiful blond wins a trip to Hawaii and is getting prepared buying a new wardrobe for her excursions on the beach. The day finally arrives and she boards the plane sitting in the first class section.

The steward notices that she belongs in the coach section and asks her to move back, but she refuses saying, I'm blond and beautiful and I'm not moving.

This goes on a few more time repeating the same thing. I'm blond and beautiful and staying here.

The pilot wants to take off and asks what's the problem. After being told about the situation, he walks to the blond and whispers something in her ear. She immediately jumps and runs to the back.

The steward is confused and asking what he said to her, the pilot replied that he is married to a blond and he knows how to handle them.

I just told her that first class wasn't going to Hawaii. "
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Old 07-09-2016, 08:14 PM   #60
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Old 07-10-2016, 12:47 PM   #61
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Old 07-31-2016, 05:12 AM   #62
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A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."

A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.

"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."



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Old 08-18-2016, 03:39 AM   #63
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I've heard and told some of these jokes, but they were all Red head jokes (if I want to not sleep on the couch), my wife is BLONDE!
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Old 11-11-2016, 04:59 PM   #64
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Blonde Adding Oil To Car Engine -Video

Blonde Adding Oil to Car Engine

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Old 11-12-2016, 08:00 AM   #65
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Blonde Adding Oil to Car Engine

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Old 11-18-2016, 12:11 PM   #66
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I've known a lot of blondes but none that dumb.
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Old 11-20-2016, 06:25 AM   #67
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Two blondes were building a house.

One saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out.

She thought that this was weird and decided to look into it.

"Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?"

"Well, when I pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, I nail it in. If it is facing away from the house, it is defective and I throw it away."

"You idiot, those nails aren't defective, they are for the other side of the house."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

....and then


They drive to a lumber yard. One blonde tells the other to go in and buy some 4x2’s.

She goes in and tells the salesperson that she wants some 4x2’s. The sales person say’s you mean 2x4’s, Right?

She goes back to the blonde in the truck and tells her “All he has is 2x4’s. The blonde in the truck replies “you dummy, 2x4’s and 4x2’s is the same!”

She runs back into the store and tells the salesman “yea, I want 2x4” s.

The salesman say’s “how many?”

So, she runs back to the truck and ask “how many do we need?’

The blonde in the truck say’s “you dummy, we need 80, we are building a house?’

She goes back in the store and tells the salesman “we need 80, we are building a house”

He asks, “how long do you need them?”.

She runs back to the truck and ask “how long do you need them?”.

The blonde in the truck says,” You dummy, we need them a long time, remember we are building a house!”
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Old 12-16-2016, 07:05 PM   #68
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Long Password?

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee -who happened to be blond- was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramen to

When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said, "Hello! It has to be at least 8 character long and include one capital."
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Old 12-16-2016, 09:22 PM   #69
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too funny
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Old 12-17-2016, 09:08 AM   #70
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But a very strong password....
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