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Old 01-07-2014, 09:33 AM   #1
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How Cold Is It?

It's so cold,
Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
You have to break the smoke off your chimney
You have to open the fridge to heat the house
Your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass
Police tell a robber to freeze, and he does
Our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan so we hear what we were talking about.
People look forward to getting a fever
Mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears
Iím shivering like a mobster in a tax office.
We had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post
Refrigerators are redundant
Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils and penguins
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Old 01-07-2014, 09:58 AM   #2
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High 60's here the next 4 days, only 46 today.

Suffer!
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Old 01-07-2014, 11:59 AM   #3
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Maybe I'll get to play golf again
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Old 01-07-2014, 01:02 PM   #4
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Mid 60s here, too.
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Old 01-07-2014, 02:11 PM   #5
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So cold it will Freeze the Nuts off an Iron Bridge.

Or, the Balls of a Brass Monkey! This one has a story behind it that goes back to the Sailing War Ships of Old that has to do with the stacking of Cannon Balls. I am having a "Moment" right now and can't remember the whole story.

Can Anybody help complete?
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Old 01-07-2014, 05:50 PM   #6
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dennis45

I too have those senior moments, but if my grey matter is working correctly the "brass monkey" is that square fixture with indentations into which the lower layer of cannon balls were placed and then layered stacked there after on the old "Tall Ships" of the 17 and 1800s.

The term came from the fact that since brass, when it gets very cold (freezes), shrinks more than the cast iron cannon balls. With that shrinking at some point the indentations which hold the cannon balls becomes too small to support the weight of the stack and all the cannon ball tumble down. Hence the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" got its start.

Hope this is somewhat correct and refreshes your memory.

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Old 01-07-2014, 06:02 PM   #7
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minus 9 with a wind chill of -25
and my rv is a nestled and snug in a snow bank until spring.
I should have went south sooner
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Old 01-07-2014, 11:35 PM   #8
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Old 01-08-2014, 12:04 PM   #9
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Sissies.. All of you Sissies.

I remember one Sunday in January some years ago, Standing in the parking lot of Oak Park (Michigan) high School directing cars to the best parking spots. Jay over across the street in the nice comfortable heated EMERGENCY OPERATIONS CENTER was our "Talk in" station for the event, we are all linked with radios.. Jay gets on the Parking Lot channel and tells us the latest weather report -40 wind chill.

I am standing there quite comfortable, I had to "Before sunrise" shift, it was colder when I started.

But then.. I do admit I was dressed for the occaion.. One thing about being dressed for 40 below.....

If a driver lost control and hit me.... I'd have bounced with that much padding.
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Old 01-08-2014, 01:09 PM   #10
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It was so Cold here this morning
I saw Two Cottontails pushing a Jackrabbit to get him Started!
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:51 PM   #11
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Saw an anchorwoman in Minnesota pour water out of a glass and it froze before it hit the ground.
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Old 01-08-2014, 07:29 PM   #12
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It's been all over the news where someone would toss boiling water in the air and it would freeze instantly in a big white cloud.
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:42 PM   #13
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My first year in Alaska I was out in the field working on the pipeline. It was minus 82 without windchill. Took my mitten off long enough to light a cigarette, got frost nip in 2 places on my thumb. Lighting the cigarette was all for not, as it turns out you can't smoke at that temp, lungs hate minus 82.
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Old 01-09-2014, 07:57 AM   #14
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Speaking about the temperature extremes is like speaking about fuel mileage,.........The first liar doesn't have a chance!!!!!!
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