How Old are you

[Larry & Rita]

"OLD" is when your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
"OLD" is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door

"OLD" is when going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" is when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" is when "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" is when "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" is when "all nighter" means not getting up to potty !

[Seajay]

Old is when you ''dont dare trust a fart''
Old is when you sometimes ''pee on your shoes''
Old is when you feel like ''you just did..... and you havent for about a month''
Old is when you dont recognize yourself in the mirror
Old is when ''a little action'' means you must get up three time at night to go ''tinkle''
Old is when an ''old person'' calls you ''Sir''.........
Old is when you throw your last condom away cause its dry rotted
Old is when Bingo is a real thrill....
Old is when you can remember 25 cent gas, 5 cent soft drinks, 10 cent hot dogs and 20 cent burgers and ''Darn good wages was 1.25 an hour''.....
I guess I am old.........