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Old 11-24-2015, 03:25 PM   #1
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How to do a job interview

Do not include these in your résumé

These are from actual résumés:
    • "Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs."
    • "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."
    • "Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."
    • "I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."
    • "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
    • "Number of dependents: 40."
    • "Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."
Bloopers:
    • "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
Reasons for leaving the last job:
    • "Responsibility makes me nervous."
    • "They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."
    • "Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."
    • "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
    • "The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."
Job responsibilities:
    • "While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility."
    • "I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."
Special requests and job objectives:
    • "Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."
    • "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
    • "I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."
Physical disabilities:
    • "Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep."
Personal interests:
    • "Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."
Small typos that can change the meaning:
    • "Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."
    • "Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."
    • "Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."
    • "I'm a rabid typist."
    • "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."
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Old 11-25-2015, 09:40 AM   #2
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Old 11-25-2015, 10:38 AM   #3
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Oh so true!!!! In my past life, I had to review résumés from professionals applying a job in my division. Shocking is all I can say!
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Old 11-25-2015, 12:35 PM   #4
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I did write a few recommendations when asked - one line I remember using was "You'll be surprised if he works for you". I didn't underline if but should have. Also "You'll be amazed (or surprised) at what this person can do". There are more but that was more than 20 years ago and I just don't remember the others.
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Old 11-30-2015, 04:37 PM   #5
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I actually had a guy tell me he needed $10,000 more than I was making as Head Engineer because HE HAD EIGHT KIDS!!! I sorrowfully told him that the eight kids weren't our fault.
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Old 12-01-2015, 04:42 PM   #6
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I had a job interview back !4 years ago. I had gone through several visits and interviews before flying the companies headquarters in Boston. I had several interview including one where 2 VP's were interviewing me.

One asked a question "What mistake do you regret making at your last job"

My response "NOT QUITTING SOONER"

Didn't get the job!! :(
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Old 07-22-2016, 12:56 AM   #7
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I always made a good preparations for my job interviews like writing a unique resume to selecting white shirts.
I found that most interview board's prime concern is about our communication skills and how social is us. Our certificates only comes in second row. I always tried to market myself and my skills before them and it worked

I know that some water had already flown under the bridge after the last comment, But I think this topic will be useful to everyone
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Old 07-31-2016, 09:18 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacwjames View Post
I had a job interview back !4 years ago. I had gone through several visits and interviews before flying the companies headquarters in Boston. I had several interview including one where 2 VP's were interviewing me.

One asked a question "What mistake do you regret making at your last job"

My response "NOT QUITTING SOONER"

Didn't get the job!! :(
You may not have gotten the job, but I liked your answer.
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