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Old 01-15-2011, 07:23 PM   #1
dbeck's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 69

My Dear husband:

I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to Invercargill together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years. About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the 20 million dollar Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

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Old 01-17-2011, 01:43 PM   #2
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Welcome dbeck to irv2.
Its kind of like the new 190 mil winner of last Mega drawing both husband and wife get arrested for assault now he wants his half of prize.
Enjoy the RV forums and do post often.
98KSCA, 99MACA, 03 KSCA-3740- 8.1 Chev-- ALLISON Trans, now in good hands
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