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08-06-2010, 08:19 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 344
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This was sent to me:
MURDER AT WALMART
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the Dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few Days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart Store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands.
As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're Going to hate me for this...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
Oh, quit Groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you!
__________________
2006 Coachmen 28RLS 2004 Nissan Titan
Pilot Steve Co-Pilot Marlene
Furry Four Leg children: Fancy (Lab/Chow Mix), LB (Little Bit), Maltese
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08-06-2010, 09:29 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Winnebago Owners Club Texas Boomers Club Freightliner Owners Club
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,559
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Roflmao
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Wayne MSgt USMC (Ret)
2008 Destination 39W
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08-06-2010, 01:07 PM
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#3
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Community Administrator
Ford Super Duty Owner Fleetwood Owners Club Pond Piggies Club
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Central OH, USA
Posts: 8,842
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 Good one!
Lori-
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Lori & Dave - Central OH / FMCA #419886
2006 Fleetwood Bounder 36Z & Jeep Liberty Limited, My iRV2 Photo Albums
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08-06-2010, 01:14 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Fleetwood Owners Club Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,016
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You had me till the end.
__________________
 2008 35e Bounder F53 V-10 Ford, 2009 HHR LT2 ,SMI stay-n-play duo, TST tpms.
Cliff,Tallulah and Buddy( 13 year old Shih-tzu )
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08-06-2010, 01:40 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Newmar Owners Club Workhorse Chassis Owner
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,612
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EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Steve & Sally / HiTee & Hudson Our Little Poms / Heidi & Houston Forever in our Hearts
04 NEWMAR MACA 3778 W22 / 05 PT Vert / Demco KAR KADDY SS
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08-06-2010, 02:04 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Monaco Owners Club Texas Boomers Club
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denmark and US
Posts: 946
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clifftall
You had me till the end.
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Me too !!!
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The Great Dane
2007 Monaco Diplomat PAQ - 2007 Saturn Vue
Living in Denmark - visiting the US whenever possible. Honorary Texas Boomer www.monacocoach.dk
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08-06-2010, 02:08 PM
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#7
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Moderator Emeritus
Vintage RV Owners Club Texas Boomers Club Oklahoma Boomers Club Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Cypress, TX
Posts: 11,982
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Better get the wife headed to Wally world quick.
Ken
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Amateur Radio Operator|Practicing for our retirement! 2008 Cameo 35SB3 - 2002 7.3L Crew Cab Dually w/ a SCMT - Max Brake - Travel with one Miniature Schnauzer, one Standard Schnauzer and one small Timneh African Gray Parrot
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08-10-2010, 05:59 PM
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#8
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Registered User
Fleetwood Owners Club
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Granite Falls, NC
Posts: 1,156
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Please remind me the next time I see you that I should slash at least one oF your tires.....lol....
God bless our troops and bring them home soon and safe
God bless our vets ALL GAVE SOME ... SOME GAVE ALL...
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08-10-2010, 06:49 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Winnebago Owners Club Vintage RV Owners Club
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 950
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What a hoot!!!
I was on the phone, with a friend, when I saw this and read it outloud. REALLY needed this today, thank you!!!
Sheila
__________________
1990 Itasca Suncruiser 32'
1996 V8 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited
7 Pomeranians, a white Chuihuhia & a 1982 Honda Express Scooter
~ Salt Creek Recreation Area Olympic Peninsula, Washington ~
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08-10-2010, 07:49 PM
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#10
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Junior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Shelton, Washington
Posts: 4
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Our cat Nutmeg was born with a short crooked tail. My wife says we should take Nutmeg to Wal-Mart,,,, because they are the worlds largest retailer,,,, so far Nutmeg has a crooked short tail,,
2004 Alfa Gold 40
toad 1999 Jaguar Xk8
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08-25-2010, 08:16 AM
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#11
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Tyler, Texas
Posts: 96
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Haha... clever clever =)
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2007 Tiffin Motorhomes ALLEGRO 35MH
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