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Old 02-10-2009, 04:19 PM   #1
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A new element has been discovered:

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium , an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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Old 02-10-2009, 07:28 PM   #2
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Sad but how very true

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Old 02-11-2009, 05:31 AM   #3
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These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
LMAO!!!!!! So very true!!
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:16 AM   #4
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Thank you for that, you made my day!
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Old 02-11-2009, 02:42 PM   #5
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This is funny...
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Old 02-11-2009, 03:38 PM   #6
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There is another element that will often appear near Governmentium (Gv). This is often supplied by government purchasing offices...Unobtainium (Un). The Un has migrated out of the government arena an is now appearing in many customer specifications for both domestic as well as overseas projects.

It seems that the two element feed from each other and the growth is increased in the presence of lobbiest (a less stable form of a moron).

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Old 02-11-2009, 03:49 PM   #7
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Sorry, that element has been around a long time. It possesses a unique particle that allows to undergo "change" at random intervals making people think it's new when in fact it is the same old element usually known as BS.
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Old 02-12-2009, 05:48 AM   #8
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Thanks for the laugh..... Book2

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