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Old 05-16-2010, 11:03 AM   #1
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New Invention

I know an 84 yer old RVer who has trouble remembering to zip up after a #1. Do you know of an automatic zipper. Such a device could be under satellite surveilance with batteries or air pressure. It could be part of ones computer equipment also. Using an extension cord to power up such a device has its limitations.
Have fun!
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Old 05-16-2010, 01:56 PM   #2
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Milt

I have the same problem but I've noticed as I get older Nobody cares Yikes

Dick
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Old 05-16-2010, 02:09 PM   #3
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Maybe his is Trolling??

jack
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Old 05-16-2010, 02:21 PM   #4
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Maybe the zipper is installed upside down?
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Old 05-17-2010, 05:49 AM   #5
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It just so happens that I own a small company named ''Handy Dandy Corp'' and we have just come out with a product you friend needs. Its called a ''ZIPPER UPPER'' and here is how it works.
First of all I am sure you are all familiar with the ''Clapper''.... You know, that thingie use to turn lights on and off with the old lady laying in the bed and she claps her hands and the light goes off.
Believe it or not the ''ZIPPER UPPER'' works the same way. You just ''Clap Your Hands'' and ZZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP. You are zipped up
The ''ZIPPER UPPER'' is battery powered and fully automatic. It works on Jeans and dress pants, bermuda shorts and about anything with a zipper in it including ladies hand bags and back packs. The real beauty of the devise is that if you should forget to Zip you have a sign around your neck that says ''CLAP ME'' and folks will see the sign and clap and you will zip up.( I invented this devise but I have to brag)
The only problem with this great devise is that if you are in a bathroom and you are ''half done'' with your business at the urinal and someone sneezes or swats at a fly or a janitor drops a broom or it thunders, or a semi goes by and toots his horns or you happen to ''pass gass'' real loud, you could be injured....(we are working on this)
If you are interested in this wonderful devise just dial
1 800 U BEN HAD and have that credit card ready and for only $19.95 plus $4.99 shipping and handling and you will get the ''ZIPPER UPPER'' in the mail in four to six weeks, maybe. The first one hundred callers will receive a small tube of ''Uncle Wigglies'' medical salve that is good for cuts and bruises. ADDED BONUS for new customers. We will include six Ginsue Steak Knives with your order also and a copy of Deal a Meal by that funny lookin guy with the bushie hair that jumps around a lot in shorts ........
I personally, myself, me, use this product and so far I am healing up nicely thanks to the Uncle Wiggly medical salve. The greatest problem is that I forget to put my ''CLAP ME'' sign around my neck sometimes and my pants stay unzipped ...... (we are working on this problem right now)
Seajay the sailor man........... lol......
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Old 05-17-2010, 06:49 AM   #6
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The loin cloth of old was automatic. Seajay, how many of the colonies were alerted to your needs?
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Old 08-25-2010, 10:07 AM   #7
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I think it would be easier to make him where a reminder arm band or something lol
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Old 08-26-2010, 01:40 AM   #8
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He did and it was too tight so he couldn't pee.
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Old 08-26-2010, 06:49 PM   #9
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Just watch Ben Stiller in " Something about Marry" the scene where his pee pee gets stuck in his zipper. You will start wearing track pants trust me.
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Old 08-26-2010, 06:56 PM   #10
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That hurt just thinking about it!
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Old 08-26-2010, 10:24 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seajay View Post
It just so happens that I own a small company named ''Handy Dandy Corp'' and we have just come out with a product you friend needs. Its called a ''ZIPPER UPPER'' and here is how it works.
First of all I am sure you are all familiar with the ''Clapper''.... You know, that thingie use to turn lights on and off with the old lady laying in the bed and she claps her hands and the light goes off.
Believe it or not the ''ZIPPER UPPER'' works the same way. You just ''Clap Your Hands'' and ZZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP. You are zipped up
The ''ZIPPER UPPER'' is battery powered and fully automatic. It works on Jeans and dress pants, bermuda shorts and about anything with a zipper in it including ladies hand bags and back packs. The real beauty of the devise is that if you should forget to Zip you have a sign around your neck that says ''CLAP ME'' and folks will see the sign and clap and you will zip up.( I invented this devise but I have to brag)
The only problem with this great devise is that if you are in a bathroom and you are ''half done'' with your business at the urinal and someone sneezes or swats at a fly or a janitor drops a broom or it thunders, or a semi goes by and toots his horns or you happen to ''pass gass'' real loud, you could be injured....(we are working on this)
If you are interested in this wonderful devise just dial
1 800 U BEN HAD and have that credit card ready and for only $19.95 plus $4.99 shipping and handling and you will get the ''ZIPPER UPPER'' in the mail in four to six weeks, maybe. The first one hundred callers will receive a small tube of ''Uncle Wigglies'' medical salve that is good for cuts and bruises. ADDED BONUS for new customers. We will include six Ginsue Steak Knives with your order also and a copy of Deal a Meal by that funny lookin guy with the bushie hair that jumps around a lot in shorts ........
I personally, myself, me, use this product and so far I am healing up nicely thanks to the Uncle Wiggly medical salve. The greatest problem is that I forget to put my ''CLAP ME'' sign around my neck sometimes and my pants stay unzipped ...... (we are working on this problem right now)
Seajay the sailor man........... lol......
It sounds like you need the Shammy Wow Guy to market this. If you remember the trouble he got into!!!
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Old 08-28-2010, 11:50 AM   #12
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Not to worry, I've been told, what can't get up,can't get out!!! Regards, Jerry
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Old 08-28-2010, 11:57 AM   #13
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That's what I always tell em Jerry - LOL Good one!!!
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Old 08-28-2010, 07:44 PM   #14
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Seajay,
Stop fibbin' everyone.

You know you pull up the hem and squat!
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