One For Wayne Et Al.

[Possum]

"NOW THIS WAS A WELL WRITTEN POLICE REPORT!!!"


Augusta, GA

Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta , Georgia , told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta , on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.

Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe.

After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment.

The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw...injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine.

[Pawnee Dan]

This is my favorite part:

'injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb'

Good one Possum

[DRosedale]

You gotta just hate those slippery sidewalks!

[justustwo]

Now he'll sue the store for the slippery sidewalk.

[Wayne M]

Not all true, but still a good story. The event happened, but it has been embellished a little. Not that it could not happen minde you. "If you mess with the best, you die like the rest."

[mick]

I have to say , that in my time in the Corps, he would not have needed an ambulance. A hearse would have sufficed.

[Bob/Becky D - VA]

USMC - Your best friends........or your worst enemies.

Looks like this one found that out the hard way.

[alageezer]

True or not, still a good story. Couldn't have happened to a nicer fellow.

[haulinhazmat]

When at Camp Pendleton, in I T R. we had a stickied finger and when we caught him we took him to the CO. and explained the situation. The CO. looked at him and said " He don't look like a thief to me" so we took him back to the barracks, on the way he fell down the steps, than he fell up the steps, than we took him back to the CO. who said "Now he looks like a thief " last we saw of him.

[Wayne M]

Haulin,
That is a story I can believe.

[haulinhazmat]

Wayne
San Onfre, at Pendelton "66"

[Wayne M]

I have never been stationed at Pendelton. I did go through "Staging Battalion" on my way to VN. That's a funny story I need to share. I hope Possum doesn't mind since this is still in the purview of humor.

We had 5 SNCO's in the company forming up to go to Vietnam. Since there are only 4 platoons to a company we always had an "odd man out" situation. Well, it seems that 4 of us were constantly stuck as the Platoon commanders and the odd man out, we called Brad, was always the odd man out when we marched to the field for training. His excuse was that he just came off the Drill Field as a DI and was worn out marching troops. About 3 weeks into the training cycle, reveille went at the usual 0500 hours, and by 0530 we were formed up and on the march.

This one particular morning Brad arrives in a Taxi about 0520 hours. We tell him to hurry. In less time than you can tell this story Brad is outside, in full uniform (Cammies), and ready to go. Oh! Did I mention Brad had been out on an all night "binge?" We didn't notice it when he got out of the taxi, but now that he was up close and personal, we knew.

Brad insisted that he march the company to our training site for the day. There was nothing we could do that would not invoke an argument with Brad. We gave in. The company was formed up already, and Brad gave the command, "Attenshhhion," and it was slurred. It looked like a gaggle of geese coming to attention. Then, in a slurred way he gave the commands "Right Face," "Forward March." We were chuckling so hard, and just shaking our heads, "oh no!"

Brad, "1, 2, 3, 4," "1, 2, 3, 4," and still slurred. The shoulders where hunched over, the platoon looked like a, did I mention, gaggle of geese. Brad gave the cadence command for two sequences while the gaggle moved forward. Have you ever heard a DI count cadence at Parris Island? On the 3rd iteration of cadence Brad broke into that infamous DI scream of cadence. Now you have to remember that these were young troops with many of them just off the drill field. Every spine in that company stiffened, and suddenly this was an organized platoon of Marines being marched by someone who "knew." Not the end of the story.

"Ohda lef, 'ite lef" for two counts with the spines stiff as boards. Then he gave the command, "Double Time, Huah" (forgive the spelling, but Marines know well what it sounds like.) Twelve miles later, yes 12 miles, we arrived at our training site. it was the furthest site from the barracks as you could get for a training site. The troops were seated, and we, the SNCO's walked over to Brad and asked, "Are you trying to kill us? Remember we are "older" SNCO's. Brad's response, "It's the only way I can sober up after a night like last night. It's what all the DI's do on the drill field to sober up." And sober he was, but we still wanted to hurt him badly.

[alageezer]

The DI story is believable. While I was not a Marine, I was a DI.