Only blondes

[Gerryl]

Two Blondes With Hammers...

Lisa & Judy were doing some carpenter work
on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lisa was nailing down house siding,
would reach into her nail
pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it
over her shoulder or nail it in.

Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, '
Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lisa explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
about half of them have the head on the wrong end
& I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!


They're for the other side of the house!'

[1ciderdog]

That is good!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sending it to my blond friends right now.

[Gerryl]

You might have to think twice about this one.



A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?'

'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, &
then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought:

'This is going to make a loud noise.
So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

[MSHappyCampers]

Good one!

[Gerryl]

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed
listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed
and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
what have you been doing?"

The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard ...



let's see how THEY like it!

[Big Bear Local]

A blond is walking along the river when she spots another blond walking on the other side. She yells how do you get to the other side of the river. The other blond yells back. You are on the other side.

[MSHappyCampers]

This is killing me!

[Gerryl]

A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
it to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'

'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk.
'What's that,' he asked?

'Why, that's a thermos.... It keeps hot things hot & cold things
cold,' she replied..

Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

The blond replied......


'Two popsicles & some coffee.'

[Bilgerat]

PLEASE STOP BEFORE YOU KILL AGAIN!!!o pcorn:

[Thornhammer]

I have to to the last one I cant stop please can I have some more

[Gerryl]

OK Thornhammer, here you go.

A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder, & still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.



The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!



You need to roll up the windows first.'

[1ciderdog]

Gerryl - that is bad but I have sent it to my blonde friends.

[Thornhammer]

I loved it

[MSHappyCampers]

Originally Posted by Gerryl

OK Thornhammer, here you go.

A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder, & still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.



The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!



You need to roll up the windows first.'

Definitely one of the best!