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Old 08-13-2013, 07:29 PM   #1
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Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy!

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but itís getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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Old 08-13-2013, 07:55 PM   #2
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Ha! Hadn't heard a couple of those. Always good.
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Old 08-13-2013, 11:08 PM   #3
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Are they any relation to the Kardashian's?
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Old 08-13-2013, 11:41 PM   #4
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That's a loaded question.
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Old 08-14-2013, 12:02 AM   #5
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Are they any relation to the Kardashian's?
ha! only in regards to #4!

Kathryn

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Edit: oooops, and definitely #3!

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Old 08-14-2013, 01:31 AM   #6
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Your going to regret saying that for the rest of your life...if you live that long!
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:11 AM   #7
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Very good, hadn't heard all of them. Some for sure I'll remember.
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Old 08-14-2013, 05:27 AM   #8
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I love it! Never heard of it before, but did a Google search and they are everywhere! Here's a few more ...

The most important social element in modern computer game development is probably still beer.

Thereís a bunch of different crunches that affect the abs Ö my favorite is Nestle's.

Money canít buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Of course men can multitask, they read in the bathroom.

Kathryn

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Old 08-14-2013, 07:59 AM   #9
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Quote:
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Are they any relation to the Kardashian's?
Isn't everyone?
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Old 08-14-2013, 09:33 AM   #10
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............

Of course men can multitask, they read in the bathroom.

Kathryn

~~~
Absolutely I can multitask.

I can talk and "tick" people off at the same time.
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