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Old 03-08-2016, 08:27 PM   #1
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Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.

So, here we go!


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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Old 03-08-2016, 11:17 PM   #2
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Very funny, and each one is true too!


Thanks Dave, keep 'em coming!

W.D.


P.S. oh yeah, about messin' around with an application.....

Where it says "print name" I put- N-A-M-E
Under "date" I put- small edible fruit

It gets worse
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Old 03-09-2016, 09:27 AM   #3
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All good!
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Old 03-09-2016, 09:35 AM   #4
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good stuff!
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Old 03-09-2016, 02:57 PM   #5
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I use some of those all the time.
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Old 03-09-2016, 08:12 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Electra 225 View Post
Very funny, and each one is true too!


Thanks Dave, keep 'em coming!

W.D.


P.S. oh yeah, about messin' around with an application.....

Where it says "print name" I put- N-A-M-E
Under "date" I put- small edible fruit

It gets worse
And under SEX you could put
Yes, No, Maybe, N/A, Use To, Like To, and ect.
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Old 03-09-2016, 09:54 PM   #7
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And under SEX you could put
Yes, No, Maybe, N/A, Use To, Like To, and ect.


Yeah! rgvtexan,

Or this- "It's the number just before seven."

Everybody knows that silly!

W.D.
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