Some are, new some are old, some are pessimistic, some are witty, But I though you might like them.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule : When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it
comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to
buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians : the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone that takes
pictures these days that no one talks about seeing UFOs like
they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
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