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Old 03-05-2013, 03:30 PM   #1
RV Mutant #14
Wayne M's Avatar

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I wanted to post this in the "Just Conversations" thread, but it's to funny, so here it is:


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They had simultaneous Headaches.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very very scared.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares Me!

Stop organized crime. Re-elect no one.

Live Simply.. Love Generously.. Care Deeply.. Speak Kindly..

"What we can't talk about" have only two enemies; rust and politicians.

Wayne MSGT USMC (Ret) & Earlene (CinCHouse)
2008 Winnebago Destination 39W
It is what it is, and then it is what you make of it.
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Old 03-05-2013, 08:13 PM   #2
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Wayne you have toooooooo much time on your hands. That being said I love all the jokes..... keep them coming.


Dan 2008 Allegro 32 BA FRED, Honda Fit
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who know binary, and those who don't.
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Old 03-05-2013, 08:28 PM   #3
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You forgot

Tofu : The silent killer.

Sex reassignment surgery to be covered by universal healthcare.

The Church of Scientology to renovate and occupy Vatican.
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