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Old 02-01-2016, 02:15 PM   #1
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Psychiatrist vs. Bartender

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.

So I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”

“Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”

“How much do you charge?”

“Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.

“I'll sleep on it,” I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” He asked.

“Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.”

“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”

It's always better to get a second opinion!

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Old 02-03-2016, 07:18 AM   #2
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Old 02-03-2016, 10:31 AM   #3
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Then there is the story of the man who was having the worst day of his life.. he went into a bar and ordered a drink.

For over an hour he sat there contemplating the drink when a Big Tattoed Bike came in and grabbed his drink and downed it in one gulp.

The little guy started crying and the biker got all sorry like.

Hey, it's not that bad,, Here I'll buy you a fresh drink.

The little guy says: Oh it's not the drink....
You see my wife left me today.. And when I went to go to work the car would not start, then once I got it going I had an accident, so I was late getting to work and the boss fired me.. Then the doctor gave me bad news.. And a process server found me..

I was considering ending it all,, Comitting suicide, And you just drank up all my poison.
Home is where I park it!
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Old 02-03-2016, 12:46 PM   #4
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