I'll try, but I may get kicked out of here.
(Jeff and his wife have just gone to bed, and they are lying there quietly in the dark when the conversation starts as follows)
Mrs. Foxworthy: Jeff, if anything happened to me, would you get married again?
Jeff: (After considering that there's probably no right answer to this question
and figuring that the following is what she wants to hear) Of course not, honey. After having had the best, there's just no way that anyone else could even compare.
Mrs. Foxworthy: Boo-hoo!!
Jeff: Honey, what's the matter?
Mrs. Foxworthy: Jeff, you need to remarry for the children's sake. The children need
Jeff: (After a respectful period of consideration) Ok, honey. For the sake of the children, I'd remarry. But just so they could have a mother.
(A period of about 5 minutes elapses.)
Mrs. Foxworthy: Yes, Jeff.
Jeff: I was just thinking. Do you think the kids would mind having a young, blonde stepmother with some big old *******?
(Jeff notes that things went downhill fast thereafter.)