Short stories for Engineers

[wa8yxm]

Dick, I am a retired Government Employee.. If I want to say bad things about Government I have earned the right. I will say I've seen examples of Stupidity in industry as well.. I have friends who worked, for say.. Chrysler.

As to the freezer trick: Did that with pistons rebuilding an engine. Works great.


When I was in college the calendar in the Since Dept teacher's office was a "Murphy's Law" calendar (Murphy was a woman you know, Famed for her overhaul chowder)

The photo shows a company plant, on the front lawn there is a big celebration, Sign says "Safety Picnic, ONE FULL YEAR without a lost time accident"

IN the background we see the plant, big smokestack, bag house at the top of the stack has detached and fallen, it has bounced off the roof of the plant and is on a trajectory that will.... if completed (And there is nothing to stop it) flatten the bunting draped reviewing stand with all the company big wigs on it.

So much for "two years without a lost time accident"

Murphy..... Was an optimist.

[Dunner]

Had to Google "bag house"

[Mekanic]

Originally Posted by Wizard

All of my years as a technician that worked on these type of systems, the one thing I remember most about my training:

ALWAYS ASK THE OPERATORS FIRST " WHATS GOING ON ?"

Too many techs assumed they knew the problem before they arrived.

If you can't fix it quickly, ....

X2 I agree 1000%

[Sequim Guy]

Back in the 70's I was a pipefitter in a paper mill, and on the wall was a cartoon that had 2 pictures, the first was a tin can hanging from a "S-hook" under a hydraulic leak saying "Temporary hydraulic leak repair".
The 2nd picture said, "Permanent hydraulic leak repair", it showed a welded bracket to hang the tin can.

.

[Steve N Sal]

Originally Posted by Lukeaa

I saw somewhere recently that if you can not fix the problem with a hammer, then it must be an electrical problem.

That's a good one.

[lunatech]

Originally Posted by Wizard

All of my years as a technician that worked on these type of systems, the one thing I remember most about my training:

ALWAYS ASK THE OPERATORS FIRST " WHATS GOING ON ?"

Too many techs assumed they knew the problem before they arrived.

If you can't fix it quickly, git a bigger hammer

I've been an electronic technician repairing CNC equipment for 23 years and I learned this about 22 1/2 years ago. Not all operators will shoot you straight but most will. Listen to the people who run the machine 8-12 hrs a day, they know what's wrong. If you act like you are better than they are, they WILL make your life a nightmare.

[Dunner]

I've noticed that with some computer techs. They act like they don't hear a word you are saying.

[Ramblin]

Heres one:

I was sitting at a roadside eatery having lunch and watching a state maintenance crew working in the median of the nearby road. They had the big truck with rakes and shovels on the side, etc.

One guy would get out of the truck, dig a hole and get back in. The next guy would get out of the other side, fill the hole back in, and return to the truck. Then they'd move the truck up about 10 feet and do the whole thing again, over and over.

Curiosity got the best of me, so I grabbed a couple cold sodas for them, and went over to ask what they were doing. They said: "Guy who plants the trees called in sick."

Must be union.

[frankdamp]

An engineer, a priest, a lawyer and a surgeon were playing golf together. Ahead of them a group of eight people were playing very slowy. One of the foursome asked the club pro why they were taking so long.

He explained that the group consisted of four firefighters who had been blinded in an explosion at a fire at the club but had saved the clubhouse from being a total loss. They had been given honorary lifetime memberships and a rota had been set up to provide escorts to help seeing where the ball had landed, etc.

The minister said "That's a heartwarming story. I'll include it in my next sermon and say a special prayer for those men.

The lawyer said "I know some good people in industrial accident cases, I'll see if I can get someone to do some pro-bono work on their behalf".

The doctor said "I know some very good eye specialists. I'll see if they can do anything for those guys".

The engineer said "Couldn't they play at night?"

[J Birder]

Here's a similar one that I know is true, because I was involved.

I was working for a research institute that did contract engineering work. One of the country's large breweries came to us with a problem. They would assemble six packs with two kinds of glue. One was a slow setting that had good ultimate bond strength. The other was a low bond strength glue that set up rapidly and held the pack together while the other glue was setting.

Occasionally, a nozzle would clog up and only one type of glue would be applied. If the fast set glue was missing, the pack would fall apart immediately, and the problem would get fixed. If the slow set glue was missing, nobody would notice.

The defective pack would end up on the store shelf. As soon as some little old lady would pick it up, it would fall apart, the bottles would fall out and break her foot. The resulting law suit wouild not be cheap.

The solution was to shine a bright light at each pack and look at the reflection with an automated spectrascope, that was capable of detecting the reflected spectrum of each type of glue.

Oh well, it was better than adding radioactive tracers to the glue which was one proposed (thankfully rejected) solution .

[Ramblin]

Originally Posted by J Birder

Here's a similar one that I know is true, because I was involved.

I was working for a research institute that did contract engineering work. One of the country's large breweries came to us with a problem. They would assemble six packs with two kinds of glue. One was a slow setting that had good ultimate bond strength. The other was a low bond strength glue that set up rapidly and held the pack together while the other glue was setting.

Occasionally, a nozzle would clog up and only one type of glue would be applied. If the fast set glue was missing, the pack would fall apart immediately, and the problem would get fixed. If the slow set glue was missing, nobody would notice.

The defective pack would end up on the store shelf. As soon as some little old lady would pick it up, it would fall apart, the bottles would fall out and break her foot. The resulting law suit wouild not be cheap.

The solution was to shine a bright light at each pack and look at the reflection with an automated spectrascope, that was capable of detecting the reflected spectrum of each type of glue.

Oh well, it was better than adding radioactive tracers to the glue which was one proposed (thankfully rejected) solution .

Why not make the glues different colors?

[Ramblin]

Therapist: "Is the glass half full, or is it half empty?"

Pessimist: "Ït's half empty..."

Optomist: "It's HALF FULL!"

Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."

[MrIguana]

Originally Posted by Ramblin

Therapist: "Is the glass half full, or is it half empty?"

Pessimist: "Ït's half empty..."

Optomist: "It's HALF FULL!"

Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."

Opportunist: drinks what's in the glass while the others are distracted.

[Ramblin]

Originally Posted by MrIguana

Opportunist: drinks what's in the glass while the others are distracted.

The opportunist meets an untimely demise.