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Old 03-22-2013, 03:38 PM   #1
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Speeding Religious!!

After getting all of EX Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the
Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)

"Please slow down, Your Holiness" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!"moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence..

The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "A senator?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "The Prime Minister?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "His chauffeur is the Pope!"


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Old 03-22-2013, 05:25 PM   #2
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Old 03-26-2013, 09:52 AM   #3
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:32 AM   #4
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Good one!
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Old 03-26-2013, 02:11 PM   #5
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Many years back I narrowly dodged a big speeding (amongst others) ticket on I-95 just north of Titusville late one night. I was way behind schedule trying to get a pickup, gooseneck trailer with 2 small pickups on top to Port Everglades in time to make a ferry leaving for the Bahamas.

Murphy's Law, there's only a handful of cars on the road and nobody anywhere me except I realize there's a single car right on my rear bumper. After a long time there all of a sudden there's blue lights.

DOH!

I play it cool for second trying to think of my options, maybe it's not me he wants.

Nope, searchlight in my drivers side mirror, it's me.

Up to the window comes one of the Troopers finest, an older fella too. He asks me why I didn't stop for the "Po-leese"?

With as straight a face as I could muster I apologized "I'm sorry officer, I'm from Canada." He replies "I see that you got Ontario tags on your truck. But why didn't you stop? Don't you have to stop for the po-leese in Canada?"

Wait for it.

"Oh yes officer, absolutely, but you see in Canada the police have red lights. The only thing we have with blue lights are snowplows, and well, it's 78 and a clear starry night. I was just so confused about why there would be a snowplow out here it took me a minute to figure it all out."

When he stopped laughing he told me to keep the speed down and watch out for other snowplows and walked back to his cruiser.

I skated on it!!!
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Old 03-26-2013, 03:47 PM   #6
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Now Ted, that is funny.
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