The cowboy way
A cowboy named Bud is overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Wyoming when suddenly a brand-new black BMW advances toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the obviously well-heeled man, looks at his peacefully grazing herd, and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The fellow parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his iPhone 4S, and surfs to a secure NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and forwards it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his iPhone® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet on his Dell® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized battery-operated HP DeskJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
Bud watches the fellow select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as he loads it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a moment and says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Tax man", says Bud.
“Wow! That's correct," says the young fellow, "but how did you guess that?"
“No guessing required.” drawled the cowboy. “You show up here even though nobody called you; you expect to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You use millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter you are than I am; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter; this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.”
Jim (SSG US Army Ret.) and Cheri (TSG Phx ANG Ret.) Mesa, AZ
2006 Dodge Ram 2500 HD Mega Cab Diesel | 2005 Honda Goldwing | 2006 35' Dune Chaser 5th Wheel