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Old 03-17-2013, 04:52 PM   #1
RV Mutant #14
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The Demerit System

Life's Demerit System

All men (married or not) will attest to some real wisdom in this informational piece...
...In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:

You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Jack Daniels. (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)
It's her pet Schnauzer. (-20)

You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-10)
Tina has breast implants. (-40)

You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You give any other response. (-20)

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)

: angel:

Wayne MSGT USMC (Ret) & Earlene (CinCHouse)
2008 Winnebago Destination 39W
It is what it is, and then it is what you make of it.
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Old 03-17-2013, 04:59 PM   #2
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They are all true

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Old 03-17-2013, 10:53 PM   #3
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So true
US Navy Vet, Liberty Tree Member of Oath Keepers, NRA & VFW Life Member, Alaska EMT.
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2009 Winnebago Chalet 231CR
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:42 PM   #4
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Location: Vaughn, WA
Posts: 1,299
I laughed 'till I cried.

. . . still cryin'.
1995 Coachmen Santara 360MB 36' w/slide.
Ford F53/460 chassis, 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokee "toad"
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:48 PM   #5
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I laughed so had I had more points deducted when she saw what I was reading -4000
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Old 03-18-2013, 07:49 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by mecfd67 View Post
I laughed so had I had more points deducted when she saw what I was reading -4000
The truth hurts..BUT ITS FUNNY!!!!!!!


Dan 2008 Allegro 32 BA FRED, Honda Fit
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who know binary, and those who don't.
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